I’m worn out after six hours of meetings, wrangling with new computer peripherals, then a fun meeting later. I’m not used to so much sitting and headphone wearing. I’ve gotta get back in the groove of work!
Carlton says he’s had a hard day of barking anytime a vehicle approached.
I’ll just share a story of serendipity and coincidence from this morning. I’m capable of that. So, bright and early, my son and I drove in his darned nice 2001 work truck to our nearest real city, Temple. It has big box stores, so it’s a city.
We headed to Lowe’s to look for some tile to make a border around our screened porch floor, since the leftover travertine from the inside of the house didn’t quite cover it. The quest failed. The big box store had ZERO floor tile that wasn’t porcelain. What the heck? We wanted something natural.
We left there and made the convoluted u-turn required to get back to the pitiful Temple Mall, where there’s a fairly new Floor and Decor store. We figured with “floor” in the name, they’d have more variety. And they did! I’d forgotten how much I love looking at wall tile, but I steeled myself to only look at flooring.
We did, indeed, locate natural stone in a large size that my son could cut to the required size. As I was dwelling on the color of the stone, I turned my eyes to the left. Wow, what I saw looked familiar. It was the exact travertine in the exact shapes we already were using.
There it was.
What a coincidence! They had it.
But it was more than a coincidence. I realized that the stone was in the same spot in the store displayed exactly the same way it was in 2014, when our contractor and I picked the flooring. The store in Austin had the same layout!
Then we got the stuff to lay the tile and headed to checkout. The clerk asked if we had a phone number on file. I didn’t think so, but gave her Lee’s number. She said, yes, it was there all right, under Ruben Construction? I said sure, as we both laughed as we realized the last thing I’d bought there was that same tile!
The floor inside, 2015.
What a coincidence. That certainly made the morning fun.
I got home an hour before my Pacific Time work started, too. Not bad but it made for a long (but good) day.
And now I sleep! I’ll be more pithy tomorrow, perhaps.
Today I started what I hope will be my last full-time job ever (I did say that about my previous job that ended so oddly). Today was so encouraging that I keep wanting to tell someone, but I’ve already told my whole family, so it’s your turn, reader-folk. My new job started off splendidly.
I got to look at birds, too.
Even the civilized 11am start time made me happy. No more 7am meetings for me! Pacific Time is nice. I’ll occasionally have a rather late meeting, but I’ll probably work 9:30-5:30, which is very nice. I’ll be able to have morning time to do things that require concentration. Great.
I’m hoppy for Suna.
I met two coworkers today, and I enjoyed their positive attitudes, their eagerness to get my input, and their openness. The company seems to have a very open and honest culture. I’ll even know what products they’re making! I think we can get good things done and end up with productive and organized teams and projects. I’m stoked. (I love this initial part of any job where it’s all possibilities and few roadblocks.)
I’m aware stuff will come up.
The company culture is refreshing and positive. They will even let me participate in their Employee Resource Groups. I’ll enjoy making contributions in this new place for the next few months! Let’s see what tomorrow brings when I start going to meetings. And when my laptop arrives so I can use my new email address and access the SharePoint site. Whee!
Oh how I’ve missed a work laptop. photo from Pexels.
Other good news? Look at these precious babies! They’re growing! Soon we can shut the porch door!
Five cuties.
And my son made good progress laying out the floor on the screened porch using what was leftover from building our house. I’m glad we kept it safe all this time! We don’t have quite enough for the whole floor, so tomorrow we’re going to pick out a border tile. I hope we can find something that goes well with this natural stone that’s also on sale.
That’s NICE.
We’ll see. Being so optimistic feels good but weird!
I hope something positive happened to you today. We all need it.
I’ll try to get as much horse riding and swimming pool lounging in as I can for the rest of the month, because I accepted the offer on the job I was debating and it starts June 30.
I’m asking myself that.
The Pacific Time hours will be a bit of a challenge, because I’ve never worked in a time zone later than mine, but since it’s relatively cooler in the mornings in the hot months here, I may find doing horse stuff and other ranch chores more pleasant. I can adjust!
I’ll still have time to look for birds at my birding station, which was sited today.
Theoretically, I’ll retire again in 6 months or so. I did like the main interviewer a lot, so I think I’ll enjoy making a few more handouts and answering a lot more questions about project and portfolio management software. I’m sure glad I didn’t entirely flush that knowledge from my brain in March.
Looks like plenty of space for rainwater capture here.
In the meantime, Lee and I are taking a short drive around our area, first to close on a property sale in no-longer-scenic Cedar Park, then spending the night in Waco and going to the zoo we didn’t get to go to when storms came after Lee’s canceled jury duty. Just some couple time.
I may be a little slower, but I get there.
It’s a nice reward for making it through all the interviews and paperwork. I’d suspected they’d choose someone young and energetic. Well, my friends keep telling me I’m energetic, so I’m passing as the elder statesman energy bunny.
How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?
I don’t think I’ve ever been great at unplugging, but I’ve muddled through by being very consistent with my meditation practice. That way I get at least 20 minutes of turning my racing thoughts off nearly every day. I’m glad I’m one of the people who can use meditation. I know some folks can’t.
Just relax and go to your happy place, in this case the bird sanctuary I help with.
But I’ve always been “too sensitive” and always felt a lot of empathy for people who are struggling. Combined with a drive to always occupy myself with work, volunteering, and knitting/crochet left me with little downtime and no time to unplug. Heck, I always worked on camping and condo trips. At least I worked with good scenery.
Good scenery is everywhere if you just look. Still I’m glad I live out in the middle of rural Texas.
I didn’t know how to listen to my mind and body and give them a rest when needed. I just made sure I had good anti-anxiety meds and took the right vitamins/supplements to support that busy brain and body. Not altogether healthy, huh?
My mind and body fighting each other, as depicted by Carlton and Penney.
My last trip to Hilton Head in April was the first time I ever really unplugged. I didn’t watch or read the news, I took lots of long walks, and I quit constantly writing in my head (I do that, like I’m my own narrator, which is truly annoying when I realize I’m doing it).
“I’m walking down the road heading to our house, thinking about how thick that giant cane has grown,” says Narrator Suna.
I found out I don’t keel over and the world doesn’t stop if I take a break from making contributions. I don’t always need to be mothering or mentoring. It’s all right just to BE sometimes.
Unplugging gives me time to slow down and notice like a shed grasshopper exoskeleton.
The past few months of not working for pay have helped me relax and taken a lot of pressure to succeed off me. I must confess I had a job interview Thursday and it went very well. I’m a sucker for helping an organization maximize their use of that darned software I’ve supported for so long. But I’ve learned to set firm limits, and even if I do one more consulting thing, its length will be limited.
Oh look, another exoskeleton. (cicada)
I’m sure I’ll need to remember how to unplug when that’s over, if I do okay on the second interview. Hmm, didn’t I ask you readers to talk me out of going back to work recently?
I’ll delay my book report another day, since I happen to have been thinking about my work history a lot today. I was trying to figure out whether I had a career arc or just a series of random ways to make money to live on. Hmm
Rain lilies with insects.
I started out planning to work in academia, but realized early on that I liked the teaching part way more than writing academic papers. After a couple of years working with the infant internet I suddenly was a web designer (back when it was EASY—I always like to mention that my first few sites didn’t have color, because everyone still had monochrome monitors. There’s more in my Prairienet post.
Once I got my first job at a software company, I knew what I liked to do, which was teach others about software. I loved writing software manuals and editing the work of others. I figured it out before I was 30, which is pretty good for figuring out what you want to be when you grow up.
Ruellia
The arrival of two children sent me on a detour, but not too far. I kept making websites for people, nonprofits and such, while teaching a different kind of adult as a breastfeeding support volunteer. I met so many lovely people and was able to be at home with my children! That was truly the best part of my work history.
Mud dauber on glass
I ended up getting a real job with the nonprofit and led their online efforts for a while. I got valuable experience working remotely and creating online communities. While that job had a pretty horrible ending as the organization went through one of its periodic implosions, I got to keep my knowledge and friends. After a good deal of therapy, I recovered (plus my spouse left, I did dumb stuff, and blah blah…).
I kept teaching no matter what. There are many people who knit or crochet thanks to me.
It’s fun.
It’s okay, because desperation to support my kids led me to a job writing software training that led me to meet my fine spouse, Lee. The years when we were first together led to a series of software training jobs where I learned to make videos and teach so many people so many things in so many industries from manufacturing to weird mainframe accounting software to telecommunications. It was really fun and challenging.
Portulaca
I got to concentrate on just one thing, project management software, for the past 15 years or so. I even had a “real” non-contract job, where I used every single skill I’d been developing. What a privilege! I loved making training videos, writing help content, designing user communities, and collaborating with smart people!
Now I’m some kind of expert in training this software, and people come looking for me. That feels good, even if I do like this retirement gig. I do enjoy helping organizations do productive work, so I may help out again, just not for four years like I did at my last contract job! That’s because horses and nature are also fun.
I’m worth not working.
So, yeah, my career had an arc. Teaching adults to use software. I’m still doing it for Master Naturalists, after all!
Oh my. Just as I was getting to think I was going to be okay with not working for a living, I got one of those LinkedIn job recruitment deals. Usually those are fake. I did respond to one a few weeks ago but I literally couldn’t understand what the recruiter said and never heard back after my initial resume (I think I know why now).
Yes, I’m embarrassed I couldn’t understand someone speaking a different dialect of English.
Today, though, the letter was refreshingly friendly and contained details about the job. I may have gotten a solicitation about the same job yesterday, but it was so vague I ignored it. This job is another of those “made for me” positions doing pretty much what I did at Dell.
This is also what I do well, photography of tiny bugs on flowers.
Even though I’m not sure I want to work again, I did do an initial chat with the recruiter. Then I answered their 6 screening questions because well, I love writing about the software I used to support, and I love helping people succeed at managing projects with that weird but powerful product. I went ahead and gave the company some caveats I figured out at that last job. At least I could help a little even if I don’t take a job there.
Anyway, they started sending me all these emails about benefits and 401Ks. It’s sounding pretty serious and fast moving. And I’d make more money. I’ve already got my Medicare, too. No need for other insurance.
I will miss finding these guys if I’m in the house all day again.
Do I want this? Another year of meetings and job aids and individual help sessions? Working on Pacific Time? No time for horses?
Not being able to dress like this every day?
Talk me out of going back to work for a year. Please. Money isn’t everything. Lack of stress is so heavenly.
Now that my exciting software training/tech writing career has ended, I find myself bereft of a mission. I always have a project I’m working on to support users, but I’m out of those. I’m a creature of habit, so I feel compelled to find a project. But is it really a good idea to keep the projects coming?
I could rest, right Mooey?
Believe it or not, watching the cattle in the wooded area next to our house gave me an aha moment. Here’s what happened.
Peach blossom for distraction.
Lee and I went to Lowe’s to get some simple vegetables to put in his raised bed. We also bought two flowering trees, a peach and a pear (nope, not native, but, hey, they are Lee’s trees). When we got home, he drove the Gladiator over to the planting area and proceeded to plant.
Finished planting. Mostly herbs and peppers v
At one point, he booped his keys on the tailgate and that made the horn beep. If you’re rural, you’ll know what’s coming. A truck, something that looks like a feed trough, and a honking horn evokes the food urge in those neighboring creatures of habit, the cattle.
We enjoy eating.
At first just a few adorable calves appeared. One in particular really enjoyed playing with Carlton and Penney. We were charmed.
Dogs and calves
I went off to feed the equine creatures of habit, who nicely line up in their pens for dinner and tolerate my insistence on grooming them in the late afternoon. Everyone, even Fiona, is now looking good, except around poor Droodles’s head. But I’m getting there!
Two buddiesHe looks nobleSee, they look good. So did Dusty.
By the time I came back, all the cattle were crowded against our fence, waiting for us to feed them. Carlton and Alfred valiantly worked to protect us, which really peeved a couple of huge mama cows and the bull. There was quite a cacophony.
I’ve got them under control. Maybe not. Bark bark barkMoo moo moo
The poor dogs got so tired that each of the white dogs went in the swimming pool to cool off.
Ahh.
It took sooo long for the cattle to move back into the pasture, probably because the real food truck appeared.
We will just wait until night if we have to. Moo.
It dawned on me that doing the same thing every time a circumstance looks familiar can lead to disappointment. The cattle didn’t notice that the Gladiator doesn’t usually feed them, or that the “trough” was full of plants. Poor dears.
We aren’t known for our massive intellects.
I need to realize that I don’t need to go find a significant writing project immediately. I’m starting something new, not the usual transition from resting training material in one application or another. I can do something different. There is time to figure out what the next new and fascinating thing will be.
The lemony sun setting on my career.
In the meantime, I’m working on collecting some writing and putting it on my Substack, which you can go follow. Eventually, as soon as I let my thoughts come together in new ways, there will be more on Substack than new and recycled blog content about animals and birds.
And plants.
Who knows? Once I break my habit I could turn interesting!
Everything’s going okay on the career wind-down front as well as here at the Hermits’ Rest. However, I experienced something curious today in my final meeting with my coworkers. They expressed surprise that I’d finished a project I’d been working on, and that I was interested in fixing the SharePoint site up and tying up loose ends. I said, “There’s no harm in finishing things up with some professionalism, is there?”
No bull, I meant it. (That IS a bull on the right)
The project lead said she wished she saw more of that in the people that aren’t leaving, and we all laughed. Honestly, it isn’t their fault the expense cuts had to be made, and I know they are not going to have fun integrating what I was doing with the huge project they are trying to work on. Why not be helpful and help them until I can’t help anymore?
Sometimes I do wish I had the option to just fly away. (The feather was replaced where I found it; I know the rules about messing around with migratory bird feathers.)
Later I was thinking back on a couple of other jobs that ended before I was ready for them to end. I especially remember my time at the nonprofit organization, when I was trying to hold my team together while a huge rift was occurring among members. Then, in April, I was informed that my job was being eliminated as of June 1. Two months was a long time to be a lame duck employee, but we were doing a lot of online activities to support mothers and babies, and we needed to keep it coordinated. I could have just stopped, walked away, and told the organization to go screw themselves.
I’m too sweet for that.
But, nope, I organized volunteers, worked on a transition, and tried to keep people’s spirits up. It was all for naught, but I felt a responsibility to try. And I got life-long friends out of the deal!
Teamwork mattered to me.
The job I had before this one was similar. I could see that things were changing and that I’d take the brunt of it, so I focused my last six months on getting my team supported and not having to do work they weren’t suited for. Once that was done, I was more than happy to go. I guess I just want to finish things up and support team members, even when there’s no one to support me in my work. What does that say about me? I’m a sap? I care about my coworkers? I’m professional?
I also care about animals. I was happy to see this skinny cow had a healthy calf and is gaining weight.
I don’t know. I think what it really means is that I value people over large corporations and bickering nonprofits. That may be a positive or negative; it just is, I guess!
(PS: someday I’ll tell you about the time I DID just walk out on a job.)
In other news, I’ve been enjoying the new weather station Lee got me for my birthday. It’s much nicer than the previous one and can store data. I’ll still need to get my official rain amounts from the CoCoRaHS gauge, though. That’s the only one that counts in weather official-dom.
It is solar powered
Lee also bought a steel raised bed that he wants to grow “things” in. It’s not going to exactly feed us for the next year, but it will give me a project to watch over during my non-working time…as if I need more projects around here.
Raised bed.
Onward and upward until there’s a need to be professional again.
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?
First, even though my job is ending earlier than expected this Friday, I’m not overly upset, panicked, or blaming myself. Why’s that? It’s because of what appeared to be a horrible failure at the time, and certainly the nadir of my working years (that’s saying a lot, since I had a couple of workplaces implode under me). I think maybe some of you readers might learn something from this experience, and since I’m retiring, I can share how I screwed up. (If I’ve already told this story, well, here it is again.)
Back when Lee and I were first together, we went through a spell of job challenges. A great long-term contract at 3M fell through because their business was talking, and all I could get were short-term gigs after that. Meanwhile, Lee also lost his job at Dell. I had two children in school, one heading to college, so it was all a bit scary.
I hit a spell where nothing was coming up, so I took the first job where they would hire me. The salary was very low, and the people I interviewed with seemed more interested in getting a body in a seat than my qualifications. But it was at the University of Texas, so I had dreams of security and a pension dancing in my head.
I ended up in a miniature cubicle in the UT Tower (where famous murders occurred) working with an accounting software package that was still housed in its original mainframe and had an ASCII UI. Two of the people I interviewed with had already left by the time I started, and from the first day on, three of the women in the group disliked me. I did my best to learn the system so I could provide help to callers, but even when I did know an answer, they told me I didn’t answer questions right. I needed to stop empathizing with users and stop assuring them their questions were legit, because this accounting software was GREAT and should only be praised for its greatness. It got more and more stressful every day, and to top it all off, I rode a bus at the crack of dawn and at rush hour going home, because I couldn’t get parking. I barely saw my family.
My office was behind one of those windows. Photo by Brixiv on Pexels.com
I kept trying, though, took extra education, got help from and assisted the one or two nice folks, then lost the only really nice coworker, who left for a better department. That should have been my hint to flee.
I remember it sounded like snakes hissing as the Mean Girls complained about me and tapped away carping about me in chats. The boss was even worse. She was some Dean of something and told me I was a big disappointment and offended my coworkers by mentioning I’d been a stay-at-home mother, but I promised to do my best to meet the decrepit accounting software support needs. It was like hell in a tiny tower. I started shaking all day. I couldn’t have done a good job if I tried.
Finally the time came for my 90-day review. The Dean just ripped me a new one, informing me how unqualified I was, how bad I was at user support, and such (they could not complain about my writing!). Here’s the worst part. Did I get up and walk out of there? No. I begged and pleaded with this awful woman, saying I needed to work or my children would lose their home. I honestly thought that is what was going to happen…I was going to fail to pay the mortgage and we’d be evicted.
It was a long bus ride home. Photo by David Geib on Pexels.com
Of course that didn’t happen. But I was so disheartened and down on myself that applying for other jobs was hell. Why would anyone want to hire such a poor worker? I went on unemployment, which at least fed us, and then, sure enough, opportunities arose. I did a bad job teaching Excel for a while (I did fine with Word–I’m not a numbers person), then started on the upswing when I got a GOOD contract for REAL money with people who became lifelong friends. But it was a SLOG getting my confidence back.
We even started a business later!
That experience taught me that no job is worth debasing yourself for. Yes, we need to work to pay bills and all that, but jobs exist. The next time someone started treating me like a pariah and making work torture, I left. Now? I’m not going to work unless it’s something I enjoy doing with people who are reasonable business folks. Mean Girls/Boys and power-hungry backstabbers won’t get a chance ever again.
I’ll write more about this tomorrow, but I’ve been touched by many kind birthday wishes. It reminds me I’m loved and cared for.
You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?
My lifelong self-improvement project is still chugging along.
That’s what it feels like right now, it’s an endless parade with yet another effing growth opportunity coming to knock me back down so I get to show how much I’ve grown and how well I handle my extreme anxiety and self esteem challenges. Whee. Also, long sentences.
Ominous clouds from last night.
To top it all off, we have no power, thanks to a huge storm passing over us this morning. Great way to start my last week of employment.
Yesterday I wasn’t working but did meet with my boss for about eight minutes during which I heard how great I am and how much I have helped the organization. However, I’m too expensive. It sounded like a lot of contractors were getting the boot. I wasn’t surprised about this, so I have already cut spending, eliminated many payments, etc. I’m sensible.
Like the bluebonnets, my goal is to get through this spring.
I am also human, so once we got the RV packed and headed home, I allowed myself to wallow in self pity for a couple of hours. I must say it was less wallow-y than my usual. Since I quit my negative self talk for the most part, I didn’t have much to wallow about. So I sat in my birding chair and stared numbly into the distance.
I felt all rumpled, like this dove.
The biggest challenge right now, other than the power outage that has stalled my initial goal of applying for Social Security and unemployment, is figuring out what I want to do next. I wish grooming and petting horses was a viable career path. Or walking through nature and explaining things to people, which is a real job, nature interpretation, but I have the wrong degrees. And I’d have to move, since I live in a desert when it comes to parks.
We can’t all be so lucky like this park Cardinal!
No need to suggest blogging for a living. I tried to monetize this blog and got $100 in a year and a half. That wasn’t worth subjecting readers to ads. I’m not exactly influencer material. That’s fine, by the way!
I’ll just swim along.
Whatever I do, even retirement, I want to help people and be a positive influence in the world. I’ll see what I can volunteer for.
And I’ll look at the nice flowers I got when we arrived home.
In the meantime, I could use a cup of coffee, but the powerful storms have done a number on the power here and it’s still out. Our outdoor cushions have tried to escape again. We weren’t prepared for this and didn’t put them away.
Send your productive working and volunteering ideas my way. I’ll be over here being resilient and working on the next chapter of my autobiography.
PS: power is back and I got coffee in my favorite mug. Off to achieve things.
The Hermits' Rest 