daily life – Page 66 – The Hermits' Rest

What’s the Most Embarrassing Thing YOU Did Today?

Sometimes, when there’s a perceived need, you do something spontaneously that you later look back on and say to yourself, “Well, THAT was an embarrassing moment!” And that happened to me today.

It was one of those intense days at work. I’d gotten tired of waiting for help on a couple of diversity and equity volunteer things and just dove in to do them myself, which included direct-messaging a C-suite member to get a project going and having a minor hissy fit at accounts payable to get a payment made. I’m glad I got the fit of energy, and truly understood that people are extra busy and have stuff going on in their own lives that may make MY priorities not theirs! But my adrenaline was up.

Then some other work stuff went on that entailed me getting news about more changes coming up (hey, we’re Agile!) and then having to pass said news on to my team in a good change-management fashion, looking at the positive (always a challenge for someone with a personality quirk of immediately seeing the worst in something and uttering the F-word). And of course, the coworker for whom this news would be most unwelcome had to be the first one I ended up talking to.

Here’s my news, coworker! Take notes! Image by *@mcirillo1961 via Twenty20*

I was telling the news to my colleague, who I’d been on-ramping for a little over a month and been working really closely with, and she was expressing her doubts as to whether she’d be great at her new thing or whether she’d enjoy it. Out of the blue, I went into Mary Poppins mode and, yes, I, who’ve lost my voice, launched vigorously into one of the first songs I ever learned in my whole life:

In every job that must be done there is an element of fun.
You find the fun and -snap- the job’s a game.
Then every task you undertake becomes a piece of cake
A lark, a spree, it’s very clear to see…
That a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down!
Robert B. Sherman and Richard M. Sherman.

Yes. In a Zoom meeting, I sang a Julie Andrews song to someone whose parents weren’t even born when I toddled into a darkened theater and saw my very first movie, Disney’s Mary Poppins. With hand gestures. Oy. Potential career-limiting moment! (Here’s a link to the original; a version that I can share is below.)

To my coworker’s credit, she lit up, agreed, and said I should blog that. So, I did. I probably actually made a good point, because one of the things I’ve been telling new hires and people new to being members of an Agile team is that, in the planning meetings for each quarter, you need to find something that not only fits in with what your team’s been asked to do, but that you and the team can have fun doing. Make it educational, where you learn a new skill! Make it fun, because you’re collaborating with interesting people! Make it fulfilling, because you’re creating something that will be useful!

We just hold each other up like a big ole umbrella – good tactic for coworkers, friends, family, and community members at large! Image by *@holypunkface via Twenty20*

Yeah, just call me the team’s personal Mary Poppins. And by the way, I am grateful that while I work to keep my team’s spirits up, they do such a great job at keeping mine up as well. Everyone should be so lucky!

Random Goodness

Hey, isn’t it tine for a good day? I think it is. The main highlight is this here somewhat blurry dog.

As we noted a couple days ago, Penney refused to go down the stairs. We never have figured out what caused her whining and groveling behavior. Lee was having to get her started, and she was having accidents.

Well, suddenly, late this afternoon, she thought about it, and came on down. What a relief.

Other good stuff! I went on such a nice walk this afternoon, to celebrate having an actual fun day at work again, after a couple weeks of struggle. I got lots of observations for our Master Naturalist Summer BioBlitz. But it was such a pretty day.

Sure, it was hot, but there were so many plants, bugs, and flowers! I didn’t think about anything but how varied life is in this little microclimate.

Plus! It rained a tiny bit. We are in a more normal weather pattern, so any rain is good. It was sprinkling while the horses were eating, and we looked down and saw this.

People keep saying I’m a horse, so I may as well eat hay.

That Goldie. You never know what to expect with her. She’s always getting all the other dogs to run and play. But she also gets tired. It all makes me smile.

The Little Pond Miracle

I mentioned a while back that Lee was building a pond for in front of the house. He has worked very hard on it, hand-placing every decorative rock, and constantly rearranging it. We were mighty disappointed when the water started disappearing out of the lower part every night. We’d come in, and there would be just a small amount of water in the bottom.

Pond, in good shape, with grass that needs to be dealt with.

Lee worked hard to fix it. First he put some foam stuff in to seal the leaky area (or as far as we could tell where the leaky area was. The next day the foam was floating like a black iceberg, and the water was down again.

Next, he tried some paint-on stuff. Nope. Third, he tried different stuff, and it appeared not to work. We left it for a few days with just that little bit of water in it. However, Sunday night he filled it up again, just so we could enjoy the sound as we sat around enjoying the sunset with our friends.

The fountain has rocks with shell fossils in them, from the driveway. Maybe not great for fish health.

The next day, a miracle occurred. The pool held. It’s still holding. I think the last stuff just needed to cure longer than we were letting it cure. Happy dance! Of course, thanks for sitting still for those few days, the pond was now a mosquito hazard. Something had to be done.

I went and fetched two goldfish out of the horse troughs and put them in there. I am not sure how much good that’s doing, since the fish can only eat so much. Plus, the pond gets a bit hot for them. I’m going to look for some of those mosquito fish. Or, I’ll put the goldfish back where they were and put in mosquito dunks. Sigh. I don’t like using chemicals.

There also appears to be a dog growing in the upper pond.

Anyway, there is still a bigger plan for all this pond stuff, so I’m going to sit back and wait to see how Lee does it. I’m proud that he fixed it after all his persistence!

Alfred has not managed to get rid of many larvae, but he does explain why we have a hose right there. He and Goldie are heavy drinkers.

The dogs are very happy with their new outdoor water bowl and are convinced we made it just for them, so they don’t have to walk ALL the way to the pond on the other side of the driveway. Besides, the bullfrogs scare Goldie. And the grasshoppers think I put the pond plants in there just for their snacking, at least the ones who live. I got a net to fish out the dead grasshoppers.

I look forward to sitting on the porch and listening to the water gurgle, which should make things harder for the mosquitoes. Another reason not to wear shorts!

Helpful Little Mantras

Do you have little things you tell yourself whenever the things people do totally baffle you? I was just thinking today how many of those I have been accumulating on my journey not to take on other people’s issues, burdens, or problems. I’m sure you’ve heard this one:

Not my circus, not my monkeys

Lately there have been a lot of tempests in teapots, snits, disagreements, and misunderstandings in the Greater Sunaverse. I realize that much, if not most, of the time the issues are caused by something I didn’t have anything to do with in the first place, that my opinion isn’t really needed on, and that my contributions could only make worse. Especially when you’re trying to do something nice for people and they question your motives, your execution, and the amount of f***s you have to give about it…it’s time to let someone who is actually involved and cares deal with it.

Here’s one my therapist came up with for me to use when people start to get on my nerves or engage in repeated behaviors that annoy me and are not helpful.

That’s just Suna being Suna

Substitute whoever is bugging you for “Suna,” or if it’s me, keep the Suna. If you know Person X is always going to be late for every meeting, is always going to tell long stories with no point, or have a negative comment for any fun idea, you can’t really expect them to suddenly turn into someone else and not do that, can you? No, you can’t. So, you take a deep breath and remind yourself that they are just being themselves. You then hope other people do the same for YOU.

I think I’ll take a walk

I think the tail flip is important on this one. With the extra stressful times we are all in these days, you really need to get away and ground yourself sometimes. I’m pretty sure every member of my family has said this at one point or another in the past few months, and I don’t blame them at all! Reminding yourself to go out in the fresh air, breathe, and do something rhythmic like walking is the best medicine you can prescribe for yourself.

Everyone is struggling right now

This is the big one. Whenever someone snaps at me, is rude, says something out of character, etc., I realize that they are not at their best, and remind myself that we are all struggling. Every single one of us. And some of us are having the hardest times of our lives. I’m trying very hard to assume people mean well and are trying their best to do the right thing. And I’m still sending out all that lovingkindness, just assuming people are praying right back at me.

Whoa, do I wish I could get a bit more of that back in return. Thanks to all of you who have your own little mantras to repeat when you’re getting bugged, so maybe YOU won’t snap, be rude, or speak out of character…as much. Heck, we’re all doing it some.

Feel free to share your mantras!

A Date with Nature and Livestock

Nature’s creatures have nothing to do with human organizations, judgmental humans, or unnecessary drama. Their drama is, at least, necessary. So I dumped social media and went outside on this nice day.

Half the day I added to my collection of observations for our Master Naturalist group’s summer bioblitz. I missed the spring one by being in North Carolina, so I wanted to make up for it. Here, enjoy some things I found:

The rest of the time, I hung out with my animal friends. I’m sure if I had grandchildren I would not take so many pictures of animals.

The chickens love to dust bathe in the sand.

Enjoy what really matters in life and let other stuff go. You’ll be healthier!

Little Pool Update

We went to put a down payment on the Pool of Dreams. We also finalized the plan for how it will look. Very much unlike me, I changed my mind on the edging and spillway. I found something both earthy and shiny that just came in. It’s a lovely glazed tile.

I hope this goes through. Spending money on anything that doesn’t promise to make money makes Lee sick. I just feel like if I’m stuck at home forever it would be great to have fun.

We got a glass tile for where the water falls out of the hot tub, so it will be extra shiny. Everything else is either natural stone or something that looks like it.

The above shows the patio surface at left, the pool edge under the tile and at top the pool surface. I hope it will look natural and shiny both.

Well, that’s if we end up doing it for real. I don’t believe things are going to happen until I see them. There have been so many disappointments and broken promises lately that I find that easier. I can just enjoy the anticipation, though.

Things I Never Thought I Would Say: Poop Edition

Since moving here, I have found myself uttering phrases that the old Suna never would have come out with. Things like: Hey, I only sweated through two bras today!

With all these animals, of course the topic turns to what comes out of them. More than once I’ve had an in-depth discussion of what makes a healthy cow pie, and why it’s okay for them to have the runs at certain times of the year. So, yes, I’ve said, “Wow, that’s some fine looking cow dung!”

Today’s phrase I never would have thought I’d ever say is:

I really enjoy shoveling horse poop.

But, it’s true! I find myself looking forward to cleaning Apache’s pen while he and Drew eat their delicious food and supplements. It’s fun chasing all those stray horse apples, honestly. And it looks so great when you are done (which lasts approximately zero minutes to one hour, depending on horse digestion).

Hey, you just cleaned this, so I needed to make a new deposit. You’re welcome.

It sure makes it smell better, too. Of course, some poop shoveling is not fun. I put trying to clean the stock trailer in that category. It’s a really nice trailer with flooring that helps the animals stay steady on their feet. However, that flooring makes it very hard to remove poop, and let me tell you something, an animal placed in a trailer will poop, probably before you finish tying them up, or shut the door.

I went out this morning when it was “cooler” to finally tackle the trailer after Apache’s lesson a week ago. Wow, that was a frustrating job, but at least most is out. Obviously we need to pressure wash it, which will happen when we have a pressure washer that’s not stuck on one hose in the back yard.

And apparently, if you create an enclosure, equines will poop in it. I had left the “gate” to the round pen open so it could get mowed, and sure enough, Fiona ONLY pooped in there when she was out free ranging. That makes it fun for the human in the center working with the horse, or walking around with it.

Thank goodness, now that it’s mowed, the Fiona poop isn’t so obvious.

In good news, I went over to Sara’s and got the cones I forgot I owned (bought with the portable round pen and the other dressage accessories). I can now set up my circle much more accurately for our schooling practice.

They don’t have to be fancy cones to do the job. Here, they are up high so the grass can be cut.

Sounds like I have a fun weekend ahead of me, with poop shoveling as a feature, not a chore.

And feeding me, too. Don’t forget to feed me.

Why I Don’t Wear Shorts

What, a person in Texas who doesn’t wear shorts? Yep, that’s me. I do own some, but I rarely wear them. I’d started wearing them around the house, but after this morning, that’s a big “no” from now on.

She even wears long pants when she’s sleeping. Ask me how I know.

Today, as I was getting dressed, I said to myself that no one was going to see me from the waist down other than Lee, and I was going to change into riding breeches to ride the horse, so why not wear some shorts and let my legs get a little sun?

Less than a half hour later, I went upstairs to get more coffee (downstairs Keurig had kicked the dust). As I walked to the coffeemaker, I passed dogs. Right at that moment, Goldie, Penney, and I think Harvey started to tussle. Penney has been acting aggressive to Goldie. I guess I need Cesar Milan. Anyway, there was my poor leg, right in the middle of all those dogs.

I discovered that scratches from dog feet that are actively engaged in a fight are much worse than ones from playful dogs or accidental contact. It hurt like heck! Now, if I’d had my usual sturdy blue jeans on, I probably would have been scratched, but just a little. There, one reason why I don’t wear shorts.

The other main reason I don’t wear shorts is that here at the ole Hermits’ Rest Ranch, the ground is covered by things that bite or sting or worse. Having pants (and closed-toe shoes, which I sometimes omit to my chagrin) on helps me avoid things like:

Fire ants
Spiders
Ticks
Wasps
Bees
Mosquitoes
Hairy caterpillars (ow)
Leaping dachshunds
Stinging nettles (charmingly called Nettleleaf Noseburn)
Mesquite thorns
Christmas cholla (cactus)
Prickly pear
Spear grass (aptly named)
Poison ivy
Sunflowers (leaves and stems are quite prickly)
Burr clover
Buffalo bur (giant burs)
Prickly lettuce
Bindweed (Smilax)
Hay
Barbed wire
Rusty pieces of metal
Baling wire
Horse/donkey hooves
And more!

Yeah. Texas is so welcoming, isn’t it? So, when we get that swimming pool, you can bet I will keep some pants nearby if I am stepping off the patio! By the way, contract is signed and money getting deposited. The process has started!

Example from real life. Walking a horse around a fence with barbed wire.
If they veer too close, well, ow.

I’m not inclined to ride horses in shorts, and usually wear boots, too. That’s because I tend to do trail riding or riding around things on the property, and if a horse spooks or has a mind of its own about where it wants to go, you can end up rubbing a lot of branches, metal objects, cactus plants, and so on. First time I rode Apache I got a nice scar from a mesquite thorn.

I hope wherever you are, nothing bites, stings, scratches or pokes you today. That seems like a reasonable goal, doesn’t it?

Dogs. Yes. Dogs.

Having some anxiety stuff going on. It happens to the best of us. Here is how I feel.

Please enjoy these more normal dog photos.

Mentoring Is Scary

I’ve had more than one conversation on the topic of mentoring in the past couple of weeks, starting with the Lisa Eggerton talk they had at work. The general consensus is that “mentor” is rather off-putting for lots of people. When someone asks to be your mentor, you start to imagine having to have regular meetings on top of your already busy day, think of ways to build up this other person, and scariest of all, be wise at all costs! After all, you’re a mentor!

Penney is my mentor in reminding me I need to rest a LOT.

No one’s ever asked me to be a mentor, which makes sense, because I’m not a high-powered executive and haven’t been for a long time. In fact, my career path is headed in a pretty downward direction right now. But, does that mean I don’t mentor people? Nope, not at all.

The consensus among the women I’ve been talking to about mentoring is that it actually works better on an informal basis. When someone comes to you and tells you they’ve got a thorny problem to deal with and asks your advice, you’re mentoring them. And when a colleague gives you an insight into how you can do something better, that was being mentored. Not so scary. No one was under any (imagined) pressure to be wise and pithy, just to be helpful.

I guess the older chickens finally mentored the young ones about roosting, because they finally all sleep together.

Thinking back, most of my mentors didn’t set out to mentor me at all; they just lived their lives ethically, kindly, and insightfully. I just watched, listened, learned, and asked a few questions. I didn’t formally ask, “Will you be my mentor?” like we were going to go steady (or however they put it now). (Thanks to Doc, Georgia, Steve, Roberta, Hedy, Mike, and Craig, to name a few who may have no idea they were mentors.)

And now, I do find colleagues asking me questions, often in my managerial role, where I give them pointers and ideas for doing their jobs better. I think that’s the most important role of a people manager: to help people grow in their jobs, find work they enjoy, and be productive. So, yay, I’m a mentor, too.

Nothing to do with mentoring; I just liked this beetle’s antennae and how big an Alfred hair looks next to it. It’s a Southern Masked Chafer, a type of scarab beetle.

Sure, formal mentorship programs have their place, and there are some good ones where I work and in other workplaces. But, don’t think that you can’t serve as a mentor if you’re not a manager or if you’re “just” a friend. When we talk to each other, ask good questions, and really listen, we’ll find mentors everywhere we look!

Take advantage of your opportunities to both learn and teach others. It’s a good plan. Thanks to the coworkers who helped me think about this!