Living in a place where two incompatible world views exist and where each world view sees the other as filled with stupid, hateful liars has become almost too painful for me. I hate being able to see how strongly each faction sees itself as right and true and the others as blind.
I don’t think my own beliefs and values even matter. Those of us who want to live in harmony with our friends and loved ones, all of them, will be the first to be caught in the crossfire when it all falls to pieces. We’re just expendable wimps.
It’s like cats versus dogs, and I’m the rabbit they both want to eliminate.
Today people I admire were vilifying people like me for daring to express their beliefs in public. These weren’t extremists, just who I thought were regular people with different views from the other people I admire.
It’s painful to witness. Time for me to retreat and try to regroup. I won’t heal completely or forget how frightened people act towards the “other” but I need to regain my incentive for participating in the world outside my little ranch.
That might be my first and last Beyoncé reference ever. Between work, running to pick up new glasses (yay for vision), and yet more horse issues, I’m tired as heck, so this will be short.
The tie-dye cowgirl. Hurts your eyes.
Apache seemed sore yesterday, so I put his boots on today. It’s good he’s patient, because I’m not very elegant about putting outfits on horses. I put my back out with all the bending, crawling, and tugging, so now we’re both sore.
Here you can see the new glasses have a wee bit of Suna excitement by being purple.
Later, he stomped on my foot with an unshod hoof. That’s always the human’s fault. My foot should not have been there. But now that’s bruised, too. Not a lot of riding occurred today (I did get on, but he said, “nope.” Since he’d moved around and trotted with me on the ground and he was very polite in his refusal, I took his word for it.
Dang, I hope he’s better soon, since there’s another show Saturday. I’ll give him (and me) pain meds tomorrow. His will be delivered in applesauce since he also now only eats grass. It’s always something to keep me on my toes!
Fiona also didn’t want to do anything.
Tomorrow starts a fun and busy few days, so I’m gonna wrap things up. I don’t want to disturb Carlton; he’s also tired.
Nope. It ain’t fun. But at least I diagnosed myself correctly!
So, my thyroid numbers were low and my metabolism was, shall we say, sloth-like. I had a low heart rate, was tired a lot, etc. So the Physicians Assistant I go to started me on medication, the standard dosage. Starting about five weeks ago, I took it correctly every morning before eating, and was proud of myself.
Sloth. Photo by Daniella Maraschiello
About two weeks ago, I started having a sore throat. I chalked it up to allergens or something. When the time came to renew the prescription, I wrote the PA and mentioned the sore throat, in case it might be my thyroid. He said it was probably just what was going around.
Me and my sad thyroid
What I knew was that I’d experienced an inflammation in my thyroid before. I was trying to prove to my kids’ dad that I could be all thin and athletic. I rode my fancy bike every day and impressed myself with my weight loss. I looked hot, for me. But I had a sore throat. Sure enough it wasn’t just the exercise making me lose weight. It was my thyroid going into overdrive. Dang.
I got all fixed up from that and was ok and thin (but not athletic enough to keep the spouse). Then I started experiencing horrible and weird pains (while the spouse was off cycling in the Italian Alps and meeting his buff future wife). It turned out the sudden weight loss had broken my gall bladder. It was not my best year. At least the spouse waited to move out until I recuperated from removing it. I appreciate that!
Italian alps. Wikipedia.
The point behind this trip up and down the Alps of memory lane is that I know what an inflamed thyroid feels like. That’s now established, as well as my lack of bile regulation.
Last night I had trouble sleeping, so I decided my throat pain was probably not some virus. I peered into it with my phone flashlight and didn’t see signs of strep. So I went back to the local clinic.
Where it hurts.
Thankfully, the other practitioner listened to me. She also felt my throat. That hurt. But yes! I DO have thyroiditis. The plan is to reduce the dose of the thyroid hormone so I won’t be a sloth but I won’t be zipping around either.
I’ll go back next week to reevaluate my precious glands. If it isn’t better, I get an ultrasound.
Hurry up, Mabel. She wants to exercise me.
Send me good vibes! I do not enjoy being sick. It’s been really hard trying to get the horses exercise, between the heat and the pain. They are sweet and patient as we do maneuvers at a walk on the hard, cracked dirt. But we aren’t exactly having fun.
I’m not having fun and you aren’t even riding me.
I do feel vindicated. I was not being a hysterical woman. I really am a bit out of whack (physically). We know I’m a pretty whacky person mentally!
Uncharacteristically, I missed two days of blogging. I was not in the mood to write nice, thoughtful words. Being sensitive is hard.
These guys are good listeners, though.
Plus, there was my pain stuff. The back pain is manageable with stretching and not bending over too quickly. But it was eclipsed by the pain from getting my darn root canal procedure finished and getting fitted with a temporary crown. Even with the combination of acetaminophen and ibuprofen, I had searing pain if my top and bottom teeth met. I was a grumpy gal last night, so you didn’t need to hear from me.
Let’s enjoy a flying Great Egret, instead.
Then there was the weather. We’ve had a tiny amount of rain (the storms have missed us two days in a row) but yesterday an incredible blast of wind came out of the east (not the expected direction) and blew things all over the place. Patio furniture flew, a window blew open, and the trees looked like they were going to snap. I’m pretty sure it was hurricane strength. At least we didn’t lose power. It was scary for a while. Straight-line winds are something else!
Waves on poolNote chair in distanceThis was after it calmed a bitWind!
When I went out to assess the damage this morning, it wasn’t too bad. In fact, it was so pleasant out that I spent some time just watching a friendly rabbit chewing grass. I love how the sun shines through their ears.
They are beautiful creatures
Later I went to get the mail and I saw black vultures on my horse area. I got all worried that Vlassic was dead.
Vultures flying away
But it wasn’t him. It was an amazing roadrunner! What the heck? It looked like the wind had picked it up and slammed it into one of the barrels I use for horse obstacles. Trying to get something positive out of the experience, I looked closely at its beautiful feathers and strong legs, which I certainly can’t do when they are alive. Dang wind.
Look how beautiful it was.
It’s not all bad, of course. I got praised for doing well at work, which rarely happens to contractors. That, along with reduced tooth pain, made getting through the work day today much better than yesterday.
And chickens. They made it fine over the windy period.
The best part of the day was that Bonnie, the equine dentist, was here for the horses’ annual checkups. It’s just fascinating to watch how she does it. I was encouraged to find out they’d all stayed in pretty good shape and mostly just needed routine maintenance.
I love how she climbs the fence and throws her rope over it to set up her dental station
Dusty is older and started out with some weird teeth, so he just got the “keep him comfortable” treatment, because he doesn’t have enough teeth to truly “fix.” He was very good, though.
Dusty was a trooper
Apache did great, too. I’m always so proud of him. He really enjoyed sleeping off the tranquilizers. He even snored.
Apache was very fond of his drugs
Drew has started growing in his canine teeth. I wonder if that’s what made him so grouchy for a few weeks? Bonnie said he’s definitely just about to turn five years old, which makes me very happy I chose July 2 as his birthday! He enjoyed the whole experience, including tasting all the equipment and snoozing with Apache afterwards.
Such big teeth!
Mabel went last. She handled this better than she did the farrier visit. Bonnie kept telling me how much better she looks now. That made me feel glad for all the work we’ve done on her. Mabel’s demeanor change also impressed Bonnie. It was cool to have someone who hadn’t seen her in a year evaluate Mabel. She needed the most dental help, so I hope it will help her keep weight on.
Mabel did her best.
So there, none of us have blown away, and things are all right.
I seem to be dealing with the hurt of my lost friendships by replacing it with physical pain to distract myself. I’m pretty sure I have a stress fracture in my foot, because it didn’t bruise much, but hurts unless I wear supportive shoes. And falling in the hole definitely sprained my second toe on the other foot. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I also twisted all my back muscles. I’ve been walking around all hunched over like a person my age. Ha ha.
I did buy these cute boots.
To help me stop slipping and sliding while I’m trotting beside Drew, I got the fine Justin boots above. They qualify as Western boots, but have a rubber sole that will give me traction in sand and arenas. Plus, turquoise and black! Drew’s theme colors!
Too cute!
I’m just pushing through the pain and doing fun stuff anyway. Anita and I went to the local nursery today and I got some bright and happy plants. I hope that cheered her up a bit.
Photos of the plants are to come, when it’s light. I was too busy all day to take photos. There was lots of work, Zooms with friends, and fun chores like hauling horse poop. I think I should have dumped this load sooner.
Growing a mushroom crop.
But, everything is clean, including the trailer. I even towed it all the way to Sara’s tonight! That’s maybe a mile on the main road.
Here we go
It wasn’t all work today, though. I managed to work with both horses while waiting for Trixie to come do feet this evening. Drew really paid attention in his last lesson, because since then he’s like a new boy, with no more Zoolander problems. We turned right at all speeds, transitioned between gaits, and stopped on a dime consistently. There was no crowding or pushing. All his lunge line work was spot in today, too. He got the reward of being done quickly, because he did exactly what I asked!
We were all tired, too.
Apache, well, he was an absolute DREAM today. We had the best ride of our lives today. It was relaxing and fun. I think he may be a bit woozy from all his shots yesterday, because he was not terribly interested in trotting fast. But, he trotted when asked, and did his jumps like a man. We rode all over the pasture with zero issues. Once or twice he started to go astray but all I had to do was refocus him. It was GREAT. He’s becoming the horse I knew he could be.
I’m tired, but a very good boy.
It’s been a good week of spending time with all the horses. Even Mabel and Dusty are enjoying all the togetherness.
Nap time.
When Trixie got here, she was able to just do Drew and Apache’s feet. She has only one good hand after being scratched by an angry cat that didn’t want to get in a crate to go get neutered. Cat scratches go septic so easily! I’m amazed she could get anything done, so I’m happy to wait for Fiona and Dusty. But Drew is now ready for the clinic tomorrow, since Apache’s Coggins results aren’t in yet (not surprised).
I’m more ready after pain pills and a visit to Carlton’s favorite chair, the massage chair.
It’s really great to enjoy all your tasks so much that pain is inconsequential. I just looked at the sunset and felt better. I’m content right here. Where I belong and am loved.
It’s been a rather painful couple of weeks for me. Since my ungraceful exit off Apache, I’ve been healing in some ways and getting worse in others. What does an “older” person expect, anyway?
Yesterday’s sunset, to remind me that I am in my sunset years.
The funniest injury I found turned up when I was getting my hair cut. Dan put me under the sink and started scrubbing away at my dirty hair, when I said, “Hey, that hurts!” Apparently, I had hurt the top of my head during the fall. I would assume that the helmet squished down on me. It’s odd that I hadn’t noticed it, but then, I don’t brush my hair often.
But, it sure is a cute haircut.
My back is also not as happy as it was at first. I feel all right in my recliner and in bed but sitting up and standing aren’t great. Sitting up in a desk chair is no fun at all, so I made myself some lumbar support. I think it is just going to have to heal, or I am going to have to go to the local chiropractor. At least I have insurance that covers it!
The worst has been my pelvic area. That bruise was bad news, and it went deep. I got swollen so much that some of my pants felt tight, and I could feel hard lumps under my protective layer of belly fat. It just hurt, that’s all, and going up stairs was always a reminder that I’d fallen. I still feel it a bit, which makes me glad I was too busy working to go to the Christmas Parade with Lee yesterday (he was helping the Chamber of Commerce). The lifting and toting would not have been a great idea.
Autumn is such a nice time for tree photos. Plus, this is much nicer than a photo of my bruises.
I think the bruising, congestion, and pain are improving. The lumps are smaller. We will see if I am able to get on a horse tomorrow. At least the mounting block at the trainer’s place is taller than mine. I probably shouldn’t have gotten the bare bones model.
Whenever I get a temporary pain it makes me think about people who don’t have the option of healing and have to live with chronic pain. I am so grumpy when I hurt, which doesn’t make me fun to live or work with! I hope I get better at dealing with chronic pain, since my guess is I’ll end up with some sooner or later as I continue my march toward deepest crone-hood.
Fiona’s with me on my march. This is on our walk yesterday.
But, as for today, I’ll take a nice, gentle walk with my horse and donkey, like I’ve been doing all week, and get back to the knitting. The latest striped blanket is coming out different, but just as interesting as the last one.
Perhaps that background blanket is not the best choice.
I’m wishing you all a good weekend. It may cool off, but I’m all prepared after getting some key items in Colorado. Ooh, and I booked another trip there in late summer of next year. Hiking here I come!
The Hermits' Rest 