Tag: nervousness

Nervous?

What makes you nervous?

Today’s blog prompt would have been answered much differently when I was younger. I was BORN nervous. It’s how I’m wired, and feeling abandoned (in my mind) so often didn’t help me stay calm.

Carlton helps keep us all calm.

Today, though, I’ve gotten to a place where I’m not nervous all the time. Things don’t get to me like they used to. In fact, I don’t even “take things personally” and let them get to me like they once did. It ain’t easy, though.

Take the long view, like this old tree does.

I surround myself with what makes me feel calm, but I can’t ignore the world. And the way people treat each other makes me nervous. People shooting each other for walking into the wrong yard or ringing a doorbell…that makes me nervous.

So many governments passing laws that take away the rights of people who aren’t men in the ruling class. That makes me nervous.

Take a deep breath.

The health care system in the US makes me nervous. Wow have I been hearing some horror stories of people’s needs being completely ignored. If I think I may be ill, I get nervous.

These guys keep me focused on good things.

But hey, I don’t dwell on that all the time. There is so much good in the world, so many good people, and so much hope. I don’t want to forget that. You don’t, either, okay?

You Gotta Start Somewhere

Geez. It was a challenging day. At least I was able to pick some pretty wildflowers.

Yes. My desk is cluttered.

I decided after last weekend that Apache was ready to do some shows. Today I went to Sara’s house to film him doing the Trail test, which is mostly stuff he has done many times at Tarrin’s or my house. I got him clean and put on a show outfit.

Ready to go, carrying my soda and stuff.

We managed to get over there without disturbing the Haggard the bull, but we walked, just in case. But once we got to Sara’s, where she has done a GREAT job setting up a course to film on, Apache indicated he was not interested in my agenda.

I did my best to show him the obstacles, like the pole and flag he dealt with Saturday with no issues. Then I went to get into the saddle and he kept stepping away. That was a hint. I probably should have listened.

But instead I got on, and Apache turned into 2021 Apache. He was totally nerved out. I was patient. I breathed. He just couldn’t settle down. I’ll spare you the details of how I probably should not have tried picking up the pole. Or doing anything.

Sara encouraged me to at least film trying to go through the course once he was a little calmer. We did at least visit each obstacle. At a walk. It’s a baseline. And we did what we could do under the circumstances.

My sweaty boy and I dragged ourselves home, only to have some random black cow come after us as we walked down the drive. I just yelled at her and she stopped and glared at us.

Fine. Then I looked at our gate. What did I see? This guy.

I’m bulky

Now, he’s a friendly bull, but I didn’t want to take any chances with a tired horse and me coming in. So, I headed over to take a chance at walking Apache down the road. But no, there was no gate that would let us bypass the cattle guard. Argh.

But there WAS a gate at the far end of our pasture, nowhere near Haggard. So we trekked the long way and made it back, with only a little scare when all the other horses came running up and I hoped they wouldn’t break through the “electric” fence that really isn’t.

Apache got rinsed off and loved on when we were back. He couldn’t help being nerved out. And I’m really glad I have leftover ice cream cake. I’ve had enough adventures for one day.

I feel like Anita did last night, like something heavy is on me.