disappointment – The Hermits' Rest

Horses: Not a Carousel, More of a Roller Coaster

Gee whiz. My horses and I just can’t catch a break. I get one healthy, then the other one is hurt, then they trade places. I wish it were the subtle ups and downs of a carousel, but it’s more of a roller coaster with huge highs and lows, along with high entrance fees.

Let’s enjoy some good news. Droodles seems to be past the side effects of the injections he got last week and is regaining his sweet disposition. His caregivers gave him good reports from the weekend and it made me really happy to see him looking like he wanted my attention when I went for lessons today. Previously, he wouldn’t even look at me when I came.

Tarrin said he remembers how to canter and is now willing to move in all directions, too. I think all the help he’s gotten has made a huge difference. I’m sure grateful for all the effort Tarrin and her wonderful helpers have put into getting him past his issues. Maybe I’ll have a horse I can ride by next week.

That’s good, because my worst fears have been realized with Apache. I’d really hoped his feet were just sore from an aggressive trim. But he was not at all happy without his boots. With them he can walk at a normal pace, but you can tell it hurts. So I brought him for his lesson really to get help.

I’d really hoped the Prascend I’ve been giving him would help. It’s a real pain to get him to actually eat it, even with applesauce. He’s good at spitting it out. It’s costly as well. But, I guess it could have been worse without the stuff. As it is, Tarrin said he’d obviously suffered a laminitic episode. That was my fear.

As always, there are plenty of helpful canines helping with the diagnosis.

It looked to me like his sole was sticking out farther than his hoof wall, and yep, that was true. Dammit. Could be worse; he did not founder. That’s really bad.

This hoof was perfect a few weeks ago. Best it had ever been. Ugh.

It’s so discouraging to have worked and worked to get a horse healthy, only for grass or something to mess him right back up. I’m heartbroken. But, before someone (Sara) reminds me that I knew this was liable to happen when I took over his care. Yes, I know he’s always had PPID or whatever they used to call it. But I’ve sure tried hard to manage it. Not hard enough, though, and it’s my fault.

Well, anyway, Tarrin was able to give a good lesson to her two farrier students in how to do the kind of trim that will bring him comfort. That was at least a good service we could provide. He got all trimmed and went back in his boots. It seemed to help.

Yay, first meadow pink of the year. Cheers me up.

He also got a big ole dose of painkillers, which was not easy. Tarrin had to use all her tempting tricks to entice him to eat it. In the end, he got two syringes full of the powder mixed with water.

Also cheering me up is baby Grace. She finally came out a couple days ago. She has blue eyes and a moon on her forehead.

I’m guessing he’s feeling good now. He refused his dinner, though. Probably thought there must be medication in it. Of course he has to stay in the pens where there is no grass. Fiona may join him. They can grumpily munch hay together.

Yes, yes, I’m sure I’m doing the best I can and none of this is my fault and I should have expected it. But I was sure enjoying happy Apache. I’m allowed to at least briefly be sad.

But hey, maybe Drew won’t bite me now. He should be able to work with me soon. And if worst comes to worst, Mabel is gonna do in hand work! I’ve still got a spare, even if they’re all not rideable. I can still have fun with them.

Invisible Demons Plus Apache Equals Trouble.

The good news is I didn’t fall off my horse. And I’m sure I learned a lot and will eventually be grateful for all the chances at relaxing and giving when I didn’t want to.

WAIT!

Isn’t that how I started yesterday’s blog? yep. I’m a glutton for punishment I guess. Today I spent the required bur and mud removal time, then headed back to Sara’s. This time I brought Apache. I was hoping things would go better going over obstacles with some friend horses around.

I swear to you that I was in a good mood and happy with my old boy. After all, he successfully ate his whole pill and let me remove all the burs. We had a nice walk over there, but his arrival disturbed the foal, which disturbed Aragorn in his dressage. Still, all good.

But when I mounted and started showing him the obstacles, he did the same thing he always does and started hopping and going sideways the minute he got near the pens. Honestly, I’d forgotten this would be an issue, so I wasn’t tensing up. Where are these invisible demons he senses?

After two one-rein stops and a lot of conscious relaxing and not tightening the reins, I was able to successfully do a slalom, go over a bridge, and walk over a jump. He even sort of did a turn in a box thing.

We dressed nicely. As you can see, he’s still tense.

But, I couldn’t reach the gate to unlatch it when we got to it, he acted like he’d never seen a mailbox, and he refused to approach a jug on a barrel. He’s done those things many times.

So I gave up on the virtual show and just tried to end on a good note. I took him to Sara’s round pen, you know, the one I’ve worked with him in for years. He did eventually settle down as we did some patterns in there. But, that was it.

I let him graze in the pen while other horses tried to do their show filming. Aragorn didn’t like the bridge after a non-stick matt was put down. Later, after I dragged my ass home, he did fine.

Oh, that’s what I was supposed to be doing. Oops.

And Cole, who came with our training friend Tracee, surprised everyone by cantering away and doing a great job. All that cheered me up.

And Apache was a good guy all the way home. Hmm.

I keep reading “helpful” articles saying if your horse behaves poorly, it’s something you did. I’m inclined to agree, since both my horses act so weird over there, it may well be me. I do get a little embarrassed that my horses are flailing around and not listening to me. But I’m doing my best to calmly regroup and try again.

I’ll keep trying. I’m disappointed, but we keep going.

To top it off I broke my other thumbnail.

What I’d Change Today

What would you change about modern society?

I looked at this question at just the right moment. I’m not my usual disappointed but quiet self on this particular topic. I’m actually feeling nauseated after reading that a nearby university has fired professors for criticizing the Governor of this fascist-leaning state and leading a liberal arts group. Fuck that. So, here’s what I’d change about modern society:

End the encouragement of divisiveness and distrust of fellow citizens. It does indeed distract folks from what’s actually going on. Not good.
Stop the headlong slide into fascism and dictatorship here and abroad. My Goddess, World War II wasn’t THAT long ago. I remember people making fun of Germans for following an obviously crazed and dangerous leader. Why is it cool now? Just because you’re pissed off that the gays, blacks, and others who were always here now get a voice, too? It doesn’t have to be us or them. We can ALL have a right to a good life.
End gun worship. Guns aren’t your children, best friends, or deities. They are tools that improperly used by people who hate their fellow humans to kill your children and best friends.
Make lying bad again. Let’s value truth and other positive character traits in our leaders, not lies and cruelty to others.
Remind “Christians” of what Jesus actually taught or find another word for the faction that’s giving Christianity a bad name. The Trumpians do not love their neighbors, care for the least among them, or welcome people different from themselves.
Stop censorship. Period. You can share your anti-human crap all you want, but let us share our thoughts, too.
Give women the autonomy to make my their own decisions. After all, we all used to live inside someone with a uterus.
Value life. Yes, even after conception. Care for our children, our elders, those of us with special needs, city dwellers, rural people…you know, people who are alive. I still can’t figure out why protecting children ends after they are born, leaving them to be abused, shot at, or worse.
Care about the planet we live on and protect its residents. I’m not saying don’t eat food. Just treat animals and plants well and manage them in positive ways.

Other than that, everything is fine.

I’d love to just fly away to somewhere peaceful. Where would that be, though?

I know I don’t live in a place where my dreams will come true. But I’ll do my part.

Remember I care about you even if you disagree with me. I’ve been patiently unfollowing people and snoozing others. I’ve deleted comments I know won’t make a difference. But I beg you, readers, to consider that someone from a different background may not be evil, and that there are many good, kind, and morally upright folks out there that may not share your spiritual or political beliefs.

Some glad morning when this life is over
I’ll fly away
To a home on God’s celestial shore
I’ll fly away…

Keep your beliefs and convictions. It’s your right. But. Please stop belittling others. You may be belittling someone you love.

Things That Puzzle Me

To be honest, a lot of things puzzle me these days, and I assume you’re probably puzzled a lot lately as well. Some of these things are fun or funny, and some are testing my ability to not be judgmental of others (and ya know, sometimes people seem to be begging to be judged; still I try not to do it). And some of it brings me way down. Sigh.

The first thing is this. It’s a fun one. What is going on with these mud daubers? Is this love or death?

What is going ON with this threesome? I can’t get it out of my mind.

There’s been a lot of mud dauber drama around the house, anyway. I see lots of hornets attacking the blue-black mud daubers, but there are usually just two of them. What a way to go!

On to the Rant

Next, I see so many people with huge logical inconsistencies in the things they say and post on social media. How is this not an issue for them? I was going to write some specific instances, but I decided that I don’t want to get involved, because of the next thing that puzzles me…

Why does everything have to be politicized? Health and safety precautions to protect ourselves and others now signify which political “side” we’re on? Why? I’m sorely disappointed at how people are labeling each other as fearful and irresponsible. Let’s look at a butterfly now and breathe.

What a gorgeous creature.
It’s a Reakirt’s Blue butterfly. Tiny but gorgeous.

And facts. What the hell has happened to those little gems? This whole business of not trusting science and verified facts confuses me a lot. Of course there is always more to be learned, but this doesn’t mean that historical event X never happened or gravity doesn’t exist (we don’t exactly know what gravity is, by the way.

And black men! My word! My heart is breaking and I would start hugging every black man I see, but that would not be good at this time, and at any time that would be sort of weird. Nobody deserves to live life judged guilty just for being born. Shame on us.

Ah, a buckeye. That brings some positive energy in.

Honest, I respect people’s right to view the world from different perspectives from mine. I am not telling anyone how to think, as much as it’s tempting sometimes. I guess I’m just disappointed. And puzzled. And confused.

I’ll tell you exactly how bad I feel about other human beings right now. Last night, I dreamed that some kind of bomb went off and I watched a man fleeing a nuclear blast. I thought, “Well, he can’t escape that, but at least he won’t have to deal with the mess the survivors are left with.” I think my subconscious was reflecting what I consciously don’t want to admit, which is that there are times when I’d just rather not be here than to watch society disintegrate before my eyes. It’s so painful.

Debbie Downer, signing off. Going to look at nature so I can feel better. How are YOU coping?