Savoring Sweet, Slow Success

When he was little, my son wanted to be instantly successful at any new thing he tried. He’d get very frustrated if he had to listen to instructions and practice. I had some of this tendency, too, and it didn’t help that I’m a quick study on most things.

Just like a Mockingbird learning new calls.

However, I’m not as talented with large motor skills as I am with fine motor skills (knitting, etc.) or mental things. I know that about myself. Because of that, once I realized I wasn’t a natural at horsemanship (way back before Tarrin), I didn’t pressure myself to improve quickly. I wish I could have, but I am who I am and Apache and Drew are who they are, so things have had to take some time.

Ya know, just like it takes a while to grow a tree.

With Drew, it’s become apparent that his issues are beyond my ability and time. I don’t love him any less, I just know that me trying to work with him isn’t a good fit. Neither of us is to blame, but it’s a hard realization.

He’s just wild at heart

Knowing I struggled with Drew makes the slow but steady progress I d made with Apache (and Mabel) just that much sweeter. It’s been good for us to build a strong relationship and skill set slowly over time.

I almost forget how hard it was to keep him from twirling around, how long it took to get his laminitis episodes under control, and how afraid I was to trot. Bit by bit, Tarrin has guided us towards our goals.

I was a challenge.

Her goal for us has been cantering, which has taken longer than expected, thanks to Apache starting out with a dysfunctional canter that had to be fixed with strengthening and practice. I was happy to see Tarrin able to ride him at a canter earlier this year.

Whee

Today it was my turn to do it. We had been building up from fast trotting and taking off after backing up, to get him working off his hind legs. I have gotten pretty comfortable, and like I said today, it almost feels like I know how to ride a horse.

I laugh at that idea and he has no comment.

After three days on pain medication, Apache was feeling much better than he did Tuesday (yes, two lessons this week due to scheduling issues), so he was up for a lot of running. we ended our lesson in the round pen where he was to practice going over jumps properly, I was told. Ha. Tarrin knew he’d canter if I approached the jump really fast.

I lived, though I did hold onto the saddle horn. Slow and steady success is sweet! This was our big goal ever since we started our lessons. We did it! Now to get good at it.

Don’t we look proud?

My goal for the rest of the week is not to talk about horses constantly. I’ll switch to wildflowers tomorrow. No surprise there.

No Surprises, Still a Bit Sad

Today Dr. Amy came by with Goldie and Harvey’s test results from her last visit. As we expected, Harvey still has liver cancer. He’s doing okay on his medicine.

I’ve lost weight but I’m still eating and barking.

We were saddened to learn that, as we suspected, the bumps on Goldie’s shoulder are more osteosarcoma. But it’s not all bad. The first thing Amy said after telling us the news was, “Look how happy she is.” Goldie was bounding around, thrilled to have a visit with her medical team and get those stitches out.

I’m still here. Full of love.

Yeah. She’s still happy, bouncy, and barky. She gets to live as long as she feels okay. We know what signs to look for. Until then, our dear girl gets to be loved on and treasured.

In other and happier news, Apache and I did well again today. I got him cantering around and Sara took a video. We look competent.

Even when Apache gets annoyed, we still work together. That’s what’s so rewarding. We are learning hard new stuff, and even though it’s a challenge, we’re in it together. I can’t believe he can canter under saddle, too! In the rain!

He did it. Not thrilled.

I also had a good conversation with Sara, since we did our lessons together. I appreciate her loyalty and understanding. I’m not easy to be friends with, and past me was worse! Growing and learning, we are!

See, I can do it.

It was a very long day, mentally and physically and spiritually. I think the hard things make the beautiful things more treasured.

Apache remembers his old stance when he’s irritated. So do I. I tense my neck just like that.

Give the Lady and the Gelding Gold Stars

All my life I’ve wanted to be a partner to a horse and enjoy riding well together. Today was the day! Shoot, not only did I drive myself to my lesson (even filled the Gladiator with gas) and back, but I experienced what it’s like to really communicate with a horse while riding. I can finally say I can ride a horse without mumbling “sort of” under my breath. Give Suna a Gold Star!

Here are your stars, from your favorite bird, Bluey.

I was able to ask Apache (who still has his sparkly extensions) to go from walk to trot to faster and slower to stop just by adjusting my seat. We both had a great time doing it. We still have lots to work on, for sure, but I have confidence now. We communicate.

I communicate when I feel like it. Don’t ask me to side pass left. I’ll twitch my ears and swish my sparkly tail.

As for Apache, he also stepped up a level. He cantered with Tarrin riding him. He did a good job (though he was not thrilled to keep trotting after he’d announced he was tired). I messed up videoing it, but got a few Live Photos of it, and two of our horse friends witnessed it, so we have proof. Give Apache two Gold Stars!

I love this picture even if the light is bad.

I know it wasn’t his personal goal to canter under saddle without bucking or doing weird things with his legs, but he seems to know he pleased us.

I can go this way, too. Whee.

I’m just gonna bask in my personal joy for a little while, and pat myself on the back. But also, Apache and I would like to thank Tarrin for her patience and skill as she’s taught both of us to be less afraid and more confident. A good teacher of humans is rare. And a good teacher of both humans and equines is even more rare. We have to give Tarrin kudos for guiding us to where we are now.

Apache registers annoyance at being encouraged to stand up straight by the stick. But it worked!

I don’t need a horse show ribbon to know I’ve accomplished a goal I set for myself. This will help me keep moving forward in other areas, you know, like making it through the hourly news on NPR (still hard).

Sometimes It’s the Little Things

What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.

The first thing that popped into my head when I saw this prompt was that I’d love to canter on one of my horses, to see what it feels like and finally go sorta fast. That’s just a little thing, but I’ve not moved forward in my skills enough to do it on Drew and Apache hasn’t moved forward in his skills enough. The one time I tried I ended up on the ground. I’m trying not to let myself get discouraged and enjoy the journey. But I’m human.

And I’m just a horse who won’t take my meds.

Little things can be good, though. For example, at the end of the work day I’d gotten to a good stopping point, and was looking out over my laptop as I sat at my porch “desk.” Something moved suddenly.

Hi!

It was this absolutely adorable jumping spider, Phidippus arizonensis. I watched as it explored my laptop then jumped onto my mouse and checked out all my stuff. It waved its first legs around as it explored, and moved its mouthparts like it was tasting the air.

Okay, I think it’s a male. It has bulbous pedipalps. Those are the things that stick out in front.

I can see why people have jumping spiders as pets, because this fellow was very entertaining and not at all concerned by my presence. I prefer them in the wild, but I do enjoy the bold jumping spider who lives in the mailbox.

One of many around here. Too bad you can’t see the cool green eyes.

I’d never seen an arizonensis before, so I looked it up. It’s definitely confined to this part of the world.

I had the best time watching this spider. That’s living for the moment. Mindfulness for the win.

I did not enjoy observing this one. A black horsefly.

Another little thing that made my day was just watching the dogs play. With all the medical issues in our canine community it’s easy to forget the happy, healthy ones. Carlton and Penney love it when I’m outside so they can run and play with an audience!

Time to get some rest and talk to my high school friends in Florida who are going through the hurricane. I do keep up!

Carlton is ahead of me in the sleep department. He’s already dreaming.