I ordered a bookcase for only $250. I must be confident things will improve.
BAH. I’m not surrendering to defeat and negativity. In only two days my self-imposed extra-carefulness after coming home from our vacation will be over, and I’ll feel a lot better to know I didn’t get sick or make anyone else sick when we traveled.
Rather than surrender (word of the day for UU Lent) in a “giving up” kind of way, I chose to surrender my expectations of how things should be. Getting rid of that will let me enjoy things the way they are now.
Actually, I think rattlesnakes are at the end of the path. I’ll wear boots if I go out there.
I have bluebonnets to look at. I saw whistling ducks at the ranch. The trees and grass are so darned green that it makes my eyes hurt. My chickens make me laugh every day. It’s thundering big time outside while Kathleen plays “Amazing Grace” on her phone. I’ll surrender to that beauty and wonder of the day.
There are always sweet surprises out there, even when we feel imprisoned by our lack of choices right now. (Baby blue eyes just on the other side of the fence)
If this is my last spring, by gosh I’ll enjoy every moment. And if it isn’t, I know I’ll appreciate all the future springs even more. It’s a privilege to be here now. Since I can’t change what others do or what happens to the rest of society, I surrender to the lessons I’m learning and the love around me.
I am part of the love around you. And I lost weight.
The cynicism I’m developing from watching national government representatives continue in-fighting and saying really horrifying things (I am now expendable, oh boy!) has just heightened my mistrust of all of them. Let’s work together, everybody.
Oh my. When I started thinking about trust, today’s word for UU Lent, my first thought was “trust no one,” then I came up with “trust but verify.” I think usually, I lean toward the latter. I have issues, I guess. I give people and institutions a chance, but it takes a long time for me to build up enough trust in anything that I don’t want to verify.
And for goodness’ sake, do not go look up memes about “trust no one,” unless you want to look at a lot of guns and implications of ideologies I personally don’t trust.
Trust Is Tricky
Even without pandemics, trust has been an issue with me. I certainly could not trust my parents, since they came from a society where lying to children was an accepted thing. I found out all sorts of stuff about what happened to my pets, what was really going on when Mom disappeared periodically, what really happened in relationships…etc.
I finally found a meme I could go with.
Later on I learned that I should have been much more careful in trusting friends and coworkers. So, I’m a lot more careful and do a lot more verifying, which I thought was pretty darned healthy, to be honest. But, then I went and read how it’s a relationship killer. Here’s what Nan S. Russell said:
Here’s the simple answer: when the outcome is essential and matters more than the relationship, use “trust, but verify.” When the relationship matters more than any single outcome, don’t use it.
“The Problem with a Trust-But-Verify Approach”
Who to Trust
I’ll tell you who I trust! My animals. The dogs are just so sweet and obviously trust US, so I trust them. And a relationship with a horse just isn’t worth trying for without trust. Apache and I have done a lot of trust work, and even though we misunderstand each other sometimes, we trust each other. I am SO glad for animals.
Today’s Instagram features Fiona, who still has one icky leg.
There are people I trust completely. It’s a risk, but to live with people, you have to trust them. It would be hard to shake my trust for the people I live with in both my houses and the people I work most closely with. They have all earned it.
Sigh, it’s time to stop. I’m getting upset about how we can’t trust our fellow humans to take care of each other. Instead, I’ll end with these nice keywords to live with. They are perfect right now.
This sounds like a great motto for today and for the future.
Poor Miss Fiona! When I trudged over (okay, I drove) to feed the steeds after finishing my newsletter draft, I noticed one of them did not slog up to greet me, and it was her.
The horses were clean on top and muddy on the bottom after yesterday’s big rain, but were happy to see me. Fiona stood in the middle of the paddock and brayed at me. Hmm.
They’d also gotten locked out of the pens, so were excited at new grass (at most they were locked out two days).
I got their supplements all prepared, and the horses dug in, but FiFi just hobbled a couple of steps. Uh-oh. I went out to her and eww! Every single leg was raw and bleeding on the outer side. Of course there were also flies everywhere.
I took pictures and sent them to Sara. We pondered. Did a dog go after her? No, they aren’t puncture wounds. Did she slip in the mud and scrape her legs? Well, how would that happen to all four?
Ick.
We’ve narrowed it down to rain rot that she’s making worse by gnawing on it, or lice or something. I’ll look again tomorrow and try to get better pictures to send the farrier. In the meantime, I cleaned her as much as I could and fly sprayed her. More news as it happens!
Damp Hens
I felt badly for the chickens last night when it rained so hard, but they were fine today. I need to get their food covered better, though, because it keeps getting wet.
We’re happy hennies.
It is still damp and foggy now, so I just put food on the ground with their delicious scratch and leftover veggies.
They still aren’t laying, even though they have grown a lot. Oh well, they are good diversions.
Perhaps today is not the best day to talk about freedom, but that’s what the UU Lent calendar said to talk about. Freedom’s always been a hard topic for me, even without being confined to quarters/office and following so many rules and regulations (our home health agency gets new guidelines from the State every day, and we have meetings to go over them; as of now we have to take every client’s temperature every time we see them; glad I’m just the CEO and am sitting at my desk doing my other job).
Still free to enjoy doggie fun and games at the ranch!
Right now, though, I feel really lucky and privileged to be able to be outside and wander around the Hermits’ Rest, so I don’t get cabin fever. I’m still free on my own property.
Land stretching out so far and wide!
As for the concept of “freedom,” I always wonder how other people define it. I don’t feel free at all here in the US. I am afraid to criticize the government aloud, for example. I hesitate to express my opinions on a lot of topics, actually, since I’m concerned that maybe many people are wandering around ready to hurt or shoot people they disagree with. That may be propaganda aimed at people like me to keep us in line, but, this doesn’t seem like a free and safe time to me. I hope I just have healthy paranoia, not crazed paranoia.
Penney is glad she is free to attack and play with June bugs to her heart’s content. She watched this one a LONG time.
So, I plan to continue to concentrate on what I am still free to do, think, and write. I’m glad my blog is not censored. I’m glad my dogs can run and play and make me happy. I’m glad I am free to at least talk to my family and friends still.
Stay safe, and don’t be a paranoid like Suna. You always have the freedom to have another perspective from mine!
We’ve been relaxing with Donita and Libba in Swansboro, NC. They live on the Intracoastal Waterway near the quaint old fishing town.
Me, relaxing.
While I have enjoyed my two days of shopping here and in nearby towns, it’s the birds and other animals that have made this trip special. You can see all sorts of marshes and barrier islands, which are just teeming with life.
Oysters by the sea wall
It’s a great contrast from Myrtle Beach, which is all big resorts. No natural beauty.
Laughing gull
Last night I saw an otter bopping around, which was really fun. Today I got to see a wild pony off of Beaufort. That’s pretty good viewing!
The otter was on the shore at left.
And the birds are fascinating. I saw an osprey and a gull fight over a fish. And there are so many waterfowl to enjoy, including many kinds of ducks, geese, egrets, herons, ibis, and so on. This is what makes me happy.
Ibis in Beaufort
Who needs people? I can just sit outside and observe.
Donita and Libba love boats.
What are your plans? When not working from home, I’ll be reading and knitting. And writing!
We have courage for the UU Lent word today. I think we’re all more courageous than we know. Life is challenging. Sometimes we wonder if it’s the most challenging time to be alive, like ever, but no, I think it’s always been hard to be human. It’s always taken courage to face each day.
It takes courage to stand on the balcony on the 26th floor if you aren’t good with heights.
Before we had to deal with evil viruses, our current political leadership, bad drivers, and mean people, humans still needed courage. I would have been scared to death to get pregnant before the late twentieth century. Well, I’d have died after the first try, so there’s a time when maybe I should not have been courageous (mis-shapen tail bone). People were always at war with the folks next door, and if you got sick, you just hoped you were strong enough to survive. And then there were wolves, bears, mammoths, and poisonous fruit,
To be honest, it takes courage for Lee to try a new beer. He likes familiarity.
Any of us who get up, greet the sun, and go do the needful, as they say in India, is courageous in my book. And you get rewards for your courage. You learn and grow, you find people to love, you create and contribute to society. Courage wins.
Sorry. I will never have the courage to get on this thing. I draw the line there.
It often happens that when I have the courage to do something that intimidates me, the reward is big. If I fail, I learn a lot, making it not so bad. And if I succeed, I get to add skills and have fun.
But, I think we all have things we haven’t worked up the courage to do. For me, it’s rides where I can’t see what’s holding me up, like roller coasters and Ferris wheels. Oh, and I am not going skydiving. It’s okay. I’ll be fine without these things.
Here is one of the first times I worked with Apache. He’s big and scary. That took courage.
Take riding Apache. It’s scary to sit on another living being and hope it doesn’t kill you. It took courage to get on, to walk around, to trot, and to get back on after falling off. But, it’s the most fun I have. I’m glad I pushed myself. I’ll be honest, I don’t like falling when I can’t see where I’m going, so every single time I dismount takes courage. We each have our “things.”
Courage to do hard things makes me shine. Here, I’m on a long car trip.
Starting our real estate business took courage, and some might say we failed at it. At least it wasn’t a glorious success. But we sure learned a lot, and it’s helped us be more confident with the Hearts Homes and Hands business. I’m glad we are willing to get out there and provide services people need. If we just sat around and lived on our passive income, it wouldn’t be just us who suffer.
Courage is everywhere. So is strength. We just have to remember.
I have friends facing life-threatening illnesses with courage. Their reward is to enjoy life as long as they have it and to learn how much love there is in the world. They also teach the rest of us to not fear the inevitable. I hope to face my health challenges with such grace.
Sending you all love as I have the courage to go listen to a condominium sales pitch and “just say no.”
Today’s word for UU Lent is play. Great choice, since Lee and I are taking a birthday present road trip to visit a new place and see some relatives. It’s my gift to him. We hope to get Lee relaxed and me out looking at water. Fun.
As you can see, he’s thrilled.
I’ve always tried to incorporate play into my life. Some of the goofy stuff I do, like weird hair colors and holiday-themed nails are play for me and a way to encourage others to bring some fun into their lives.
Tina really enjoyed making these St Patrick’s Day nails.
My two main sources of fun at this point in my life are the Master Naturalist activities and my animals. I learn so much in our MN meetings and classes, and I have fun sharing it with others.
Boy did I learn a lot about plant ID a couple weeks ago.
The dogs and chickens make me play. They can’t help it. But true play is when I’m with Apache and Fiona. They both love to play, and I love going along with them. They just like to hang out together. Like yes, when Trixie the farrier came, we spent most of the time cuddling and nuzzling.
My guys.
Apache loves when Trixie comes and he gets to get in those weird positions and then feels better. I think he thinks they’re playing.
Today’s Instagram post shows a horse playing!
Riding just exhilarates me. It’s the best playtime ever.
One More Way to Play
I must admit that some aspects of our work renovating properties is like play. I do have fun picking out colors, fixtures and such. And Chris and I tend to play pretty often. Yesterday, we decided to check out the well behind the Pope Residence.
Look! Water!
It has water in it. We are now working on ideas for what we can do with that. We both admitted we had wanted to look in there for a long time.
I’ll have a Pope update soon. Until then, here’s a hint of what we hope will be the next project.
The UU Lent word for today was passion. I saw that and said to myself, “Whoops, I don’t have a lot of that at this stage of my life; I’m just trying to get through every day.” I wonder who else among us feels that all their passion is just drained from them? Why would that be?
Sure.
Passion is supposed to be strong emotions that inspire and motivate you. Many writers (especially of memes) encourage us to do everything with passion. Sounds exhausting to me.
Passion Bites Me in the Butt
I’ve had passions at various stages in my life. There were one or two relationships that were that way. That led to bad decisions along with poor self esteem, and in some ways I felt like I lost myself. I could do without that. Then there were causes and activities I felt so strongly about that it became a passion. They motivated me to do much good work, but when I became too attached, it led to deep disappointments and feeling taken advantage of.
So much passion. Not wasted.
Passions have always led me to disappointment or defeat, whether in the interpersonal or organizational area, anyway.
Huh. Maybe I wasn’t going about passion in the best way. I betcha there are people who can be passionate about things without the burnout and negativity. I think I’ll talk to people about that today, and I invite you readers to chime in.
In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy my hobbies, groups, and interests, but keeping a bit of distance. I declare I can still do good work with my Master Naturalist group, the Milam Touch of Love, and the Friends of LLL without being consumed by their missions. I say that to manifest it, I guess.
But I Do Love My Mother
When I was writing my Instagram post on passion, I realized that the strongest attachment to anything is probably to the preservation and flourishing of wildlife and plants around me. My strongest feelings come when I look around me at the birds, the trees, the animals, the water…the planet we live on is amazing. I want to keep it healthy so that if I ever have descendants, they can enjoy it, too.
I saw this buck and a younger buck near the Bobcat Lair.
Sure, this one can also lead to disappointment, but not defeat. I’ll keep striving to keep Mother Earth my focus.
And Those Pesky Friends and Relatives
Speaking of passion. These two have it.
Same goes for my family and intimate friends. My passion about keeping them safe and happy won’t go away. This is where I am learning to have passion but still detach. I can’t make people love me or treat me well, but I can care about them anyway, just not so much that I curl up in a little ball of sadness. I guess I should be grateful to my estranged son (tiny photo earlier in this post) for helping me with this hard lesson.
I intend to keep going, keep caring about the world around me and those I hold close, so I’m not going to let passion lead to defeat again.
Hear ye, hear ye! I’m taking today off. I am not doing regular work, volunteer work, or family stuff. I’m having a self care day!
I even gave the Bitmoji new glasses and shirt.
Much of my day will be spent looking at these guys.
A symphony in earth tones.
Or this guy.
It’s my scarred-up white haid!
Vlassic is out visiting Jim again so no picture, but I got all emotional about losing him last night and got all weepy. Harvey immediately ran to my side and started licking me. Then Penney came. Vlassic licked me, too. That was the first time I really cried in ages. I don’t think it was actually about Vlassic, but about losing all my lost loved ones.
So that made me decide to take the day off. The rest of the family went on a trip, so it’s just me and Lee until dinner, which will be pizza with the Sunday dinner gang. I’m gonna take a bath and do my hair, read, and knit! Yes, knit!
Yarn from Blue Mule, near Round Top.
It’s going to be a cowl you can also wear like a shawl someday. It’s called Nomad. It’s on Ravelry.
It’s not too hard, not too easy.
The most strenuous thing I’ve done today is go look at the chickens and the young cows who are currently behind the house. They just love the chickens and the dogs.
Y’all don’t scare us.
They are such friendly young ladies. I think they were the first ones born here after the pink mamas showed up. They are all named 18. Or they’re new. I don’t know. I just enjoy how friendly they are.
Got any food?
I enjoyed taking some portraits, and hope you like them, too.
Everybody wants to sniff the culvert
Number 1 is very friendly
Number 9 has a black nose
The black ones are smaller and fuzzier
Reverse Oreo sandwich
These white sweeties got double photobombed
The Cows at Hermits’ Rest
I hope your day is peaceful, or that it’s fun, whichever you need. How are you doing self care today?
I also saw the greater yellowlegs pair in the pond as I walked to the cattle.
Yesterday I ended up spending a lot of time around the resident cattle, even when intending to hang out with the horses and Fiona. It was all fun, though, and a great reminder of some of the things that are common on a ranch that aren’t common for city folks.
For instance, I was walking toward the end of our main pasture, when I realized that the cattle I was looking at were in FRONT of our gate. Hmm, that would make the dogs happy. I then realized Gary V. was moving some round bales (a type of hay bale) into our hay storage area, and they had followed him. He and I shooed the curious ladies and their offspring back to the correct side of the gate. No doubt they were sad, since we have oats growing in our pasture for them to eat later.
We would like to eat your oats, please.
The cows kept coming toward the gate, so I stayed until Gary was finished, and closed the gate behind him. That wasn’t the last surprise these particular cattle would give us!
Horses and Cattle
I made it to the horse area, where Sara and I warmed the horses up, then saddled up for a ride. I practiced not using my reins, in preparation for using a bit with Apache. I used a stick to direct him. It went well until he got tired of it and marched off to where he wanted to go. Once that was dealt with, we toodled down the race (long fenced path to the far pasture) so we could ride around in the bottom (the beautiful area that floods in bad weather).
Hello! We are the welcoming committee!
When we got to the gate, there were four perfectly charming calves looking at us. They thought we were fascinating, and had no intentions of moving away from us. Sara got off Spice and did her best to encourage them to go back to their mamas, but they just walked off a little way. I guess it was Curious Cow Day. When we got through the gate, they kept coming up to investigate the strange creatures (us). We would move them a little, then they’d come back. Finally we left them (one was still there when we got back).
I had a lot of fun exploring the creek.
We rode all over, and checked how the place where the stream meets the creek looks. There is a much larger piece of creek with water in it, but the recent rains were not enough to get Walker’s Creek flowing, so the stream is just making a nice pond.
This is Happy Spice.
By the time we got back, the horses were happy to be set free in the small corral. Spice ran and ran and then dropped to roll. Apache waited a bit, then also did a bit of a roll. That had to feel good.
I’m done rolling and want to chase Fiona now.
And Later…
Nicole and Easton visited (they are moving nearby in Temple soon) in the evening, and they wanted to see the horses, so we all walked back to the corral. On the way, we noticed a cow laying like she was dead. We decided she was in labor.
And there was a phoebe calling like crazy and eating little butterflies. It’s their job.
On the way back, after a chat with Ralph and saving poor Vlassic from a bunch of dogs, we saw the cow was standing. Did she have a baby or was that a salt block? We had to stand there and watch until the “salt block” wiggled. We have a new calf to look cute in the front pasture!
Wait, what’s the mama eating? Eww. Afterbirth. Ranch life. It’s sure real.
The Hermits' Rest 