Holidays – Page 6 – The Hermits' Rest

Can Horses Give Birthday Presents?

Horses don’t know about calendars or birthdays, though I guess they are aware of seasons. But I’m going to choose to believe they can give gifts! So, thanks to Apache, my American horse, for the gift today!

Seconds earlier, he was trying to taste the flag. Guess that doesn’t spook him!

My birthday gift to myself this year was a Working Horse Central clinic, which happened to be at Tarrin the trainer’s place, quite familiar to my guys. I decided to take Apache, to see how much he’s improved. By the way, a clinic is like a group lesson, where you get to see how others are doing. You can learn so much.

We went with Sara and Aragorn, which made the day that much more fun, and Trixie also added to the birthday friend fun with her very lively little stallion, Archie.

The clinic was fantastic. We learned a lot from the advanced people, who included a young girl who’s also a trick rider. It was fun seeing how the cantering crowd had stuff to learn, just like us.

Our group had a very young woman, too. I was so impressed with how much she wanted to learn, even when her horse gave her trouble. She just got on another horse and kept trying.

She was a great role model for not giving up. My favorite thing that happened with her was that I heard a familiar noise in the sky. It was the Sandhill cranes migrating. I told her to look up. It was such a tender moment to introduce a child to this Texas wonder. She was enthralled. For many reasons, she won’t forget today!

Well, you don’t need the details, but I was so happy with how well Apache and I did with all these new things! We learned to try trotting. We will score better. And I learned he backs up well.

We learned so much from everyone else, and from what we tried and realized we could do. There was a lot of trotting. It went well and I got better and better, but I sure hurt now.

I was really tired, too. So much trotting.

I’d forgotten how well Apache does in clinics. He is like a learning sponge. And he was so patient waiting for his turn. He was calm and didn’t do one squirrelly thing. Nothing the other horses did phased him, even when a horse rolled onto its rider. I was so proud. What a great birthday gift.

Patiently waiting. All these guys were so good.

I can’t believe we did so well at things we’d never tried before. This sure makes up for Drew just not wanting to do anything yesterday. If he messes up tomorrow, so what? We will just keep learning. That’s the fun part.

Yee haw! It looks like I’m pulling on him, because I’m trying to get him to look at Sara.

I hope that Drew learns to enjoy clinics and shows like Apache does. In any case, my horse gave me a good birthday. No need to worry about people, parties, or presents. Perfect.

Who’s My Valentine?

Drew’s my Valentine! And Lee. And the relatives. And the dogs. But Drew. I didn’t know they made horses as nice as him.

Who me? I’m in love with salt. Mmm. Salt.

I built a new playground setup near the new round pen with jumps, circles, brush, and the obstacle he doesn’t like for circling.

All the horses were so sweet to me and the offspring-in-love after they dropped by for a few minutes.

Drew, Fiona, and the Buckskin Buddies just stood around saying hi and asking for pets. It’s hard not to smile with them around.

Once again, Drew followed me to the gate, then walked back with me, perfectly matching my steps. I think I can easily get him to do like Apache at liberty and more. It’s just so awesome.

Later, after feeding time, I went to let him out (I’m keeping him in to try to get him to eat more), and instead of rushing out to freedom, he hung around and sniffed me to figure out what I’d been cooking. Then he “asked” me to scratch his neck a while, gently “kissed” me, then left. Yep. He’s a good Valentine.

Did I give my humans love? Sure! The kids got hot tub time. And I made dinner for the men. I’ll share the recipe in another post.

Eye of Remington, full of love for all humans and horses.

St. Bridget Would Approve

It’s Imbolc if you observe ye olde Celtic traditions. It’s been modernized to St. Bridget’s Day. I love this celebration of the first glimpses of light after a long winter. I always light candles and try to have a fire.

Candles, St. Bridget’s cross and a tree of life for today.

I’m not too big on organized religion, but I do enjoy honoring the changing seasons, the passage of time, and one’s cultural heritage. Lee and I enjoy our “wheel of the year” hanging calendar that lets you move through the year with the most recent observance on top.

Check the Sacred Source catalog to get one for yourself. https://www.sacredsource.com/

How appropriate for a day that celebrates the keeper of an eternal flame than to finally get the fire pit working by the pool! Yes! We can sit in the hot tub and celebrate with our own flame tonight! However, fuel prices being what they are, our flame will not be eternal.

It was no easy task, but one can now light the fire like magic. Or the magic of propane.

And if that’s not enough light, I got some small solar lights for around the pool to make the steps and edges easier to see. I’m charging them up now, since it’s sunny and warm.

It’s hard to believe we are under a winter storm warning. Tomorrow may be another story. I’ll just enjoy today while it lasts.

Moving on from the Alottest Year

A Facebook friend named Melissa, who went through so much this year, just summed up 2021 as the “alottest” year, because everything has been a lot. The lowest lows, very high highs. Hope and despair. Sure, every year has good and bad; that’s life. But wow, my head is spinning as I reflect back.

I had to sit and look at water to still my mind.

So, rather than dwell on the losses and setbacks, I’ve decided to look forward and figure out what how to use the learning, strength, and bravery I’ve worked on for the past couple of years to make the best of 2022. And I’ll try to keep my sense of humor.

Another Facebook friend, Emma G, has inspired my outlook for the immediate future. She said she isn’t going to wish her friends a happy new year. No, she is going to wish them a year of intention. I love this.

Starting my year out with Brené, who will remind me of who I am and that I’m fine.

If we all live our lives putting positive intention into everything we do, we will be able to continue to weather the literal and figurative storms we encounter, and maybe even make the world a little better.

I put good intent toward my homemade Bundt cake, even if it came out poorly.

And keeping our center will at least let us truly savor the beauty and goodness we run into, too.

The equines are enjoying the goodness of their first ever round bale of hay.

I wish you peace and discernment in 2022.

Let’s Knit Stuff

Knitting has always been my go-to centering activity (after actually meditating, of course). I’ve been knitting up a storm the past month or two, which explains the lack of book report posts! I’ve finished one thing and almost finished another one this week. Let’s see.

The secret project I was working on just before Christmas was a dish towel in cotton yarn for Anita’s new house. I tried to make it approximately the right colors, given the options that I have (one ball each of many shades of Dishie, which is a cotton dishcloth yarn from Knitpicks). It turns out a dish towel takes a bit more than one skein, so I added a second color to it. The pattern is called Dixie’s Dish Towel Recipe (don’t blame the messenger; Dixie was the person’s name). I like it, because you can improvise different knitting patterns in it, though I liked her original ones just fine.

I am pretty sure I messed up something toward the end, but hey, it still looks like a dish towel. I like the kind with buttons that will hang from your cabinet and not fall down all the time, so I’ll probably make myself a couple of these. The only one I have was one someone sewed, and it’s getting really old.

Neither of the photos here show the color of green the yarn actually appears to be to my eyes. It’s a nice, soft sage.

One reason I was so disappointed in Christmas was that I had knitted on that darned cotton yarn for three days to get the dish towel done in time, only to have Anita be unable to join us. But, I stuck it in with her mail, so she got it when she dropped by to visit her house in Cameron.

The other project I have been working on is another one of those six-sided baby blankets. I really like doing those. This one is for a baby due in March, so I made that deadline with no trouble! This pattern takes just a wee bit more than two skeins of yarn, so I had to borrow a bit of yellow to finish out one set of stripes, but it’s right where yellow would have started anyway. The other skein had enough. That’s either because skein lengths are just approximate, or the first ball was used for more of the longer rows. Who knows?

I am not sure if these are what folks would call “baby colors,” but I think they do look sort of Western or cowboy-like, so it should go over fine in the family who’s getting it. I am going to do the border in the happy yellow color.

I’m not sure what’s next. I do know that you could easily make a Christmas Tree skirt from the six-sided pattern by just using happy holiday colors and maybe some shiny yarn for the stripes and binding off at the end rather than joining into a hexagon. Maybe I will do that.

I hope you have something fun to pass the time when you need to keep your hands and mind busy. I am quite glad I’m back to work, myself, because it’s really good to think about work problems instead of my own crap.

A Different Winter Wonderland

I’d planned a fun nature walk with my little group yesterday, but thanks to COVID, I ended up on a solo walk. I explored a part of the woods that’s near the house, but not often visited. It was warm and sunny, but still a winter wonderland to me.

The green you see is a mix of rye grass and chickweed.

I went over to the tank/pond on the other side of the woods from the one behind our house. It’s the most attractive one and is always full of life.

Cows love it, but they haven’t pooped all the life out of it.

It’s often hard to get to from our place, because there’s a fence marking a property line that ends in a place that stays damp for a long time after it floods. But, the recent tree-killing knocked it down in a spot, so I could explore the pond while it’s full.

We only have a couple of months when the trees have no leaves. You can see more!

This pond has lots of aquatic plants in it. Some are blooming. I forget what they are, but it’s pretty.

The water looks brown, but there are lots of fish.

It always smells nice and earthy around the pond when it’s wet. Admittedly, some parts smell more cattle-y. It smelled fresh today.

The highlight of my little walk was checking out where the water comes into the pond, which I’d never seen from this side while the stream was flowing.

The stream had dozens of minnows in it. It was fun to watch them dart around. In the photo you see their shadows better than them! I also figured out that the stream comes out of a spring at the base of our pond. It doesn’t seem to drain our pond, or if it does, it’s slow.

I felt like an explorer in my own back yard. I found a freshly dug hole where some animal lives.

And I encountered an ant swarm on a log. Probably fire ants but still cool to watch. I didn’t stick my fingers in there to check.

It is always refreshing to hang out in nature, no matter what time of year. It’s healing and reminds you of the big picture. None of us is alone. Please enjoy more images of our small, green wonderland.

Christmas for Two

And we aren’t really traditional Christians. Still, I’ve always enjoyed the gatherings of family and friends each year. But it’s 2021. Not a year for fun, comfort and joy, or peace.

It’s okay to be sad this year. We’ve all lost a lot, one way or another. For me, I’ve been sitting with the sadness and allowing peace to replace it in my heart.

My husband loves me. My dogs, horses, and chickens love me in their animal ways. My family love me, from their respective holiday locations. My dear friends are full of love as well. I’m grateful for all the kind messages. Nothing cheers one up quite like newborn baby pictures, so I’m happy to have my unofficial grandchild.

So, since the damned COVID kept our intended guests from coming, I told them I’d send pictures of how I decorated for the meal and relaxing with snacks. I was making lasagna, and Anita was bringing the other stuff. Here’s my decorations:

Behind the flowers is my candle for Ted.

I also spent an hour or two getting the back porch ready for guests. Everything was dusty and dirty from pool construction. I swept everything, which is so futile, since the wind deposits Alfred hair in every corner as soon as I sweep. And I arranged the newly cleaned cheap patio furniture in a way that gives us a shady sitting area and a sunny one.

I’ve enjoyed butterflies today, so here’s a gift for Anita, Declan, and Rollie to say I miss them but am glad they are being responsible.

And Kynan. I miss you.

Downward Spiral of Confidence or Competency

I’ve been putting off writing about this for a day, hoping to get some insight into how my little brain works. One thing I know for sure, or think I know, as Lucy Barton in the books I’m reading would say, is that once I lose my confidence in one thing, I start screwing up other things. That’s how it’s been the last 24 hours or so. I’ve had lots of time to ruminate, however, so maybe I’ll find that I’ve had a good learning experience.

The source of my downward spiral. Who couldn’t love that face, though?

Yesterday was, for the most part, a pretty rough day for me and horses. The challenges just kept building and building all day. First, I went to get Apache ready to go to a training lesson. He just seemed to be in a very uncharacteristic bad mood. He didn’t seem to want me near, and kept coming at me with his teeth. He has only bitten me once, and that’s when I stuck my hand in his mouth quite foolishly. But, he acted like he didn’t want me around. Too bad, we had to do this stuff. Yep.

Mr Grumpy was all manners and goodness later, when he got a slight hoof adjustment.

He was all shifty and stompy when I groomed him. This is a horse who usually stands still and enjoys the grooming experience. He didn’t like being tied, no matter where I took him, either. At least he got into the trailer nicely and was not too hard to tie up, though the teeth came at me again. What the heck?

Once we got to the training place, he was fine, though, and other than truly not being interested in trotting, did well in the round pen. The trainer said she could see improvement in our relationship, which cheered me up some. She got on him to work on straightness and walk-trot transitions. Apache was not thrilled and was really not thrilled when he was asked to do shoulder-in walking, which makes sense, due to his internal issues, which I’d hoped to resolve a bit today, but that’s another part of the story.

Unhappy Apache not being allowed to curl in his neck.

I even got on him and practiced walking, trotting, then backing. I had some trouble at first, but in the end, I had an aha moment, and now that is really a nice thing to do, and we both seemed happy. This was the highlight of the day. The video below is what I was doing. Thanks to Sara for taking it.

I was being good at this!

Sara’s videos and photos really made me sad, though, because I can see what a little, old lump I look like in the saddle. Even when I’m doing well, I look pretty awful. No wonder I have to start over.

There’s a reason her arms are crossed. I look clueless.

Next, we took Apache back to the trailer to hang out while I did a lesson with Drew. This is where I did another thing that messed with my confidence. I tied Apache next to Aragorn with a hay bag between them. I guess my knot that Chris insists I use doesn’t tighten well enough, so Apache was too loose. It enabled him to show what a bad mood he was in by kicking poor Aragorn. We got a call from the trainer’s son saying the paint was kicking the white horse.

More lumpy Suna riding. Good news is his head is down and he looks more relaxed.

I was mortified and afraid the expensive horse had been hurt and I’d never be able to apologize enough. Sara went to move Apache and was upset about my knot, which she didn’t know how to untie it (it just unties itself once you undo the last pull, but I obviously suck at knots). I also feel awful about that.

Yesterday was already not a great day for me emotionally, since I was still pretty shaken up about Ted dying and the five or six other deaths I’d heard about that day (really, SO many people lost their mothers!). The Apache thing got me shaky.

Then, when I was asked to longe Drew over his hill, I just could not do it. Yes, I was unable to guide a horse going in a circle. I completely lost my ability to do this thing that I thought I knew how to do in my sleep. Well, I need to do it differently now, and hold the rope a certain way, move my feet a certain way, never nod my head, put my elbow into my stomach, and keep level with the horse’s rump. I did none of those things correctly.

I asked Drew to speed up too violently (I did it the way I’d been told to do with Apache) and was told I’d traumatized him. Then I went into a downward spiral of doubting everything I was doing, and being afraid to hold the rope. When Drew got out of control, I was told to draw him in, draw him in, and I blanked on what that meant I was supposed to do. It meant to shorten the rope and bring him closer. Makes sense NOW.

It was a total cluster of insecurity, loss of confidence, and incompetency. I have no idea how I will ever do anything with Drew other than pet him when I get home. He is so sensitive, yet so boisterous. It’s great, and he is wonderful, but I only have experience with a horse that is slow and ignores me. Versatility eludes me. I have lost my positive outlook. Where did it go?

I ended up pretty damned weepy and wondering what the heck happened to my carefully nurtured equanimity I’ve worked so hard on this year. I’m glad my step-mother called so I had to force myself to be cheerful for a few minutes. It’s always good to hear a few stories from Flo.

Of course, the trainer had kind words for me, and pointed out that all training is peaks and valleys rather than a straight incline, and that we all have our bad days, both people and horses. I know she’s gone through her own bouts of feeling incompetent and judged, so I appreciate her insight, even if it will take a while to set in.

I love this photo showing what all the horses are probably doing, at least mentally, while we analyze their behavior endlessly.

I did eventually get able to watch Sara’s lesson and see how she and Aragorn (who didn’t seem too badly injured and was happy to do his lesson) deal with straightness and transition issues, just at a higher level. Those folks who say the problems stay the same no matter what gait you’re working on are right about that.

Aragorn is making lots of progress and you can hardly see where he got kicked.

We decided that Apache will go in for some training next month when I go on my next condo sabbatical. He will get worked and I will get to stare at my favorite beach. It should do us both some good. The trips are truly helping to keep me on an even keel.

Whining Digression

What I suspect is actually bothering me is my regrets about my family and people who were once close to me. They really build up during the winter solstice period. Most of the year I am at peace with the fact that so many people I love and care deeply for do not reciprocate the feelings. This year I am down to ONE person biologically related to me for Christmas, now that my sister also no longer cares for me. Not all of this stuff is my fault. Or their fault. It’s all gray. I just miss them.

And I wondered why I was surrounded by circling vultures all day…

So, I will hug Lee, Anita, Declan, and Rollie on Christmas and thank the Universe for the larger community of caring folks who do surround me, even if I’m grumpy, sarcastic, negative, harbor unpopular opinions, and am just hard to live with. Most people are, to some extent. I’m smiling as I write this, so I’m not feeling too sorry for myself. What would that help, anyway?

Back on Topic

On the horse front, I’d expected to spend most of the day with them again, but Trixie forgot about our bodywork appointment. It’s all for the best, though, because I finished a secret Christmas gift, and Sara also got some work done. That’s the attitude we need. Sure, there are setbacks, but there are good things that can come from them.

Merry Christmas to all of you out there. You are a true gift to me! My gift to you is this pink evening primrose I found blooming in the pasture this afternoon. I took it as a sign of hope.

Work Can Be Fun

Not job work. Work around the ranch. I’ve been being sure to get a couple hours of chores done every day. Today I crafted, I guess. The end result was this.

I took the old brown naked tree and revived it.

First I spent a LONG time cutting the nonfunctional lights off. I’m so glad I found the wire cutters (they also helped me attach wreaths by the gate).

They are sorta small. Like our holiday spirit.

Then I tried to perk the tan tree up by painting it green. I artistically used two shades. It’s debatable how successful that was.

I did use paint designed for plastic, so maybe it will stick.

Still, since I spent all that time on it, I put it on a table and did my best to put lights on. I’m too short. There is also nothing on top yet. I wish I could find my white peacock from the house in Austin.

I put a bunch of old ornaments I found but stopped short of putting all the childhood ornaments of my older son. Made me sad. Next year I’ll find my nice ornaments and make a pretty tree. Until then, it’s at least cheerful.

I did gaudy up my counter chickens, though.

Tomorrow no more holiday cheesiness. I hope to ride the horse.

Being Adult about Christmas and Unpacking is Necessary

Today I had to do grownup things. Things I do not enjoy doing and that exhaust me physically and mentally. I cleaned up some stuff that had been sitting around too long, and the hardest part was taking all the ornaments off my “nature tree,” which is this weird leafless artificial tree we’ve had up in this house since we started building it, even before it was finished. I used to put it in the closet every year, but there is a bunch of padding from Lee’s sleeping arrangements. The really cute lights stopped working a couple of years ago, so it was time to remove it.

Poor nature tree is all naked and about to be peed on by Alfred. I am washing it tomorrow.

Plus, my autumn tree had gotten knocked down by some dogs one time when I was gone (I came home to find it missing, and the ornaments in a bowl…the ones that made it). It was time to do something else.

My plan is to spray paint the tan tree green and put some nice lights on it, then put it up on a table in the family room, so I can put good ornaments on it. I may paint the nonfunctional lights red, to look like berries or something. I hope I am able to do that, anyway. Maybe then I can take down my weird decorated branch that lives in the family room. But, I love that thing, even if people keep turning the lights off.

It becomes clear that I am more of a fan of trees than of Christmas, since these things stay up all year around and have a distinct lack of specifically Christian elements. I respect that religion, but my fondness for Jesus and his acts doesn’t make me what counts as a Christian to most people in the US.

Where was I. Yes, I spent a long time taking down ornaments and dusting them off, then I put the tree outside. I put up the few decorations I can find around the house, so it looks like wintry cheer around here. I’ll spare you photos.

Then I decided that, since I’d made space in the entry, I could put a tree in the entryway, where people could see it driving by and we’d look at least a little American. I went to the dollar store and got an inexpensive white tree and a bunch of lights. First, I could not put the tree on the table I intended to put it on, (which got damaged on the trip between the church and the ranch anyway, sigh) because it would hit the chandelier. Okay, so I can only put unbreakable ornaments on it.

Mandi came over and we were chatting as I put the tree together. It doesn’t look bad, I thought. Then I went to put lights on. Oh, poop. Green light cords do NOT look good on a white tree. So, I just put up all my nature and dog-related unbreakable ornaments. It looks, well, okay.

It will look better with a tree skirt, anyway.

I’m going to order some lights with white cords from Target or somewhere, and they will get here soon. I need a 2021 ornament and my annual Target Christmas globe, too. There, I am decorating for the season of light this year, and doing a much better job than last year, when I simply failed.

I dusted off this little tree I used to use in my office, and I swear it’s the best looking decoration in the house.

I also unpacked two, count them, two boxes from the move. One contained some nice things from my old living room. The other was a mystery! Lee had brought it in when he dragged some things in the last day of the move. I do not recognize the contents. It’s dishes from some grandmother.

Some ironstone and decorated plates. Huh.

The dishes were wrapped in Chicago Tribune issues from 1988, then later wrapped more in Austin American-Statesman paper from 2003. Whose could it be? None of my relatives ever lived in Austin. Nor did anyone else who ever lived in my house, unless maybe Declan’s girlfriend from high school. Well, everyone loves a good mystery.

I now have some plants in the house. I will attempt to keep them alive.

My next unpleasant adult task is to repot the plants that got messed up in the move. I also hate repotting plants. But, these are good ones, so I will do it. And Lee is helping me unpack at least a couple of boxes per week. And some furniture will show up here soon as we have some help and they have time. When does deer season end, anyway?