lessons – The Hermits' Rest

Georgia on My Mind

Who was your most influential teacher? Why?

I’m lucky to have had many wonderful teachers throughout my life, many of whom are also friends. That’s a privilege. I’m interrupting my travelogue of state park visits to once again mention my most influential teacher (because I’m pretty sure I’ve gushed about this before), Georgia.

I’m not splashing pictures of her in this post. She knows who she is.

She taught me syntax and pragmatics (among other things) in graduate school in Illinois. The academic stuff was great—the staff at that school really made my favorite topics interesting. But it turned out that I didn’t have what it takes to be a linguistics professor after all (though I loved teaching it).

Me in the 1980s when I was mentally unstable.

How convenient it was for me that I learned ideas and skills I’d use for my whole life from Georgia’s examples. Her examples as an instructor, editor, spouse, parent, political activist, and critical thinker are with me every day. For example, I learned to write, proofread, and edit after reading her corrections on my work. Thanks for the career skills, Georgia!

How she raised her children greatly influenced my own parenting, since I lacked a sane role model in the mother department. I admire her children so much today!

The most important thing she taught me, though, was to accept others as they are. She knew me in my worst years, when I made one bad decision after another, and thought more with my hormones than my brain. Georgia was still kind and gracious to me and still is today. That in itself is one of the greatest lessons she imparted, that people don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

This guy and I are still teaching each other that lesson.

Enough mushiness on that topic, except to say that we are all taught by so many people and teach others as well. Let’s try to teach positive lessons!

Mabel Takes a Trip

I’ve been writing a lot about Mabel, the Thoroughbred mare that Kathleen rescued in 2021 and who I’ve been caring for and rehabilitating since. In the past few months she’s blossomed. I guess the time to regain her health both physically and mentally was just what she needed to come back and do more than eat and sleep (though she’d be happy to do that).

Look at that engaged and interested face!

So today, not only did I take Apache for a lesson, Mabel went, too!

Now, Mabel obviously had training before we got her, since she was willing to let people ride her and trailered well.

But she looked sad and was so thin (this was not too long after we got her, and she’d filled out some already.

I was interested to see what she retained and where I could help her develop stronger muscles and a stronger relationship with me. So she walked into the trailer like a champ and went to Tarrin’s. Apache was gracious.

She did not enjoy the trip and pooped everywhere and made a slippery mess. So Apache did his lesson first while Mabel neighed a lot and was agitated. Tarrin said that shouldn’t be surprising in a new space where she didn’t ask to go. Poor dear. It was also extremely windy (again), which wasn’t fun for horses or people. So much dust.

By the time it was her turn, she had settled down and we did work with her. We made lots of progress together and I have lots of things to practice with her now. She never stopped looking engaged and happy, even with some corrections needed. Tarrin said she was smart. She probably says that to all the horse owners.

Backing up was fun to work on. We will get it all figured out, I’m sure!

Apache had an excellent nap during Mabel’s lesson. He’s a bit stiff so he’s getting pain meds for a short while until the grass settles down. At least he isn’t lame!

Wake me up when it’s time to go home, says Apache.

Before we left, Tarrin fitted the black saddle Drew had been using on Mabel’s shape. She has asymmetrical shoulders. Huh. Apache’s old cinch worked fine, so I can exercise her with the saddle to build more strength up. She isn’t ready to be ridden again yet, but it shouldn’t be too long.

Saddle fitting. It’s great to have an adjustable saddle that works on all shapes and sizes! Bonus dog butt.

One more thing! When we got home, Dusty and Drew were crowding the gate wanting to greet Mabel. I guess she’s their girlfriend. It was hard to bring her in until I shooed the boys away. It was sweet.

She already stopped pulling when walking the circle. Good girl.

I hope tomorrow is less windy. I have a bunch of things to do! But for now I’m enjoying a lavender face mask to get rid of the last of the dust!

Apache Smoke Signal: Superstar

What? That’s my superstar horse’s whole name that he’s registered under. If I’d named him, it would have been something more culturally neutral, like Gary or Fred. He doesn’t care, though, and also answers to Patchy or Patch.

I digress. It’s been a long but good day. Life is back to normal, with my bird friends, my chickens, and business transactions taking up a lot of time. I’ll explain all that soon. I keep putting it off.

The rest of the day involved horses, mostly the 19-year-old superstar to whom I referred earlier. First, he will now take his new powdered medicine in “horse crack,” which he wouldn’t before. This is GOOD. If I can avoid the applesauce routine, I’ll be pleased.

I want to keep him healthy and pretty. Photo is not from bur season.

Second, he was incredibly patient as I got him ready for his lesson this afternoon. It has been rainy. That means muddy horses. The hay ran out. That means horses spending time looking for delicious grass among cockleburs. Ugh. I could not finish getting him cleaned up in the time I allotted, so I had to finish de-burring after we got to Tarrin’s. Luckily, I didn’t miss much of Sara and Aragorn’s lesson, which was interesting, because they were doing the same exercise Apache and I worked on last week.

Note burs in mane. It was much worse today.

But the reason I say Apache is a superstar is that he is doing so well with his development and cantering on the ground, and is really working well with me under saddle. It feels like we’re both learning at a similar pace, and doing well, despite our ages. I can’t believe how he is responding to my cues and that I’m capable of giving them! He is very close to being able to canter under saddle.

Yes, he should have been able to do that when he was young, but he, Sara, and I had to learn a lot before that could happen. Here we are now, though! We are both enjoying ourselves at last. That was my hope for us, to become partners and have fun.

I’m so full of gratitude that I’ve been able to go on this journey with my buddy, and that Tarrin’s patience and dedication to our success has paid off. Plus, I’m grateful that Sara let me have the opportunity to work with Apache.

It’s been fun learning together, at our very different levels.

Next? More cantering and slowing down/speeding up, plus continuing to get Drew back on track.

Drew: I’m happy just hanging out with my buds and collecting burs. Don’t mind me.

Tomorrow back to non-equine topics.

It Always Helps…

…to have someone supportive confirm that your instincts are not off and you can do things you need to do, with the right tools.

I’m not talking about my new yarn spindle, though it’s a nice tool.

Today Tarrin came here to do the horse lessons, which was very helpful, even though I’d managed to write the time wrong on my calendar. I need a personal assistant!

I’d been wandering around looking at the heron and not realizing I needed to groom horses.

Since I got Drew to come with me easily, he went first. I got some really helpful input on not pushing myself to trot and trot if he isn’t in one of his good frames of mind. I feel so much better practicing on straightening him out at a walk. I do wish I’d gotten pictures of him doing his warmups. He was pretty spectacular cantering and jumping high, calmly. Probably the very cool weather had him perky.

He’s doing better in lots of ways. But I felt validated when Tarrin got on him and had trouble the same way I did. He took a long time to relax like he was still a bit unsettled. Maybe we’re both more settled now.

I had a really good lesson with Apache. He even came up to me in the pasture. All those “treats” (medicine) seem to help with that. I got good information from Tarrin on how to deal with his lethargy. She explained that he’s losing some of his stubborn fat and the toxins in it are going to his liver, so we’re going to give him some milk thistle for a time. And he’s changing to different supplements that will support his metabolism. Luckily most of it isn’t too costly.

As for the lesson, he had good energy for his ground work. I’d say he did the best I’ve ever seen him going over jumps and low obstacles. And he was a joy to ride. I got great information on ways to keep him standing up better, then we went out to test his “issues” with going outside his comfort zone.

Tarrin used his lead rope to keep him from flinging his head down (without constricting his comfortable head movement). Once he realized that option for making me nervous was gone, everything was better.

Since I took no pictures today, here’s a bonus.

We made tons of progress on re-settling him when he first starts to act concerned (as a helpful blog reader mentioned as well). We stopped and breathed, and we did lots of circles and figure eights to give him something to center himself on.

I did really well staying centered and calm, myself, thanks to not having the threat of him jerking the reins out of my hands and Tarrin providing helpful cues. I ended up feeling really good and like I have ways to make riding at home more fun with both horses. Whew. I sure needed the insights.

Carlton points out that he does nothing but emit good vibes. I love him, too.

I’m very grateful to have had my coach here at home for some help with my situations. Both horses are doing so well at her house. I’d like to get there at home.

Daily Bird

It was really cold (for here) so not many birds were out. But I thoroughly enjoyed listening to white-throated sparrows settling in the big tree by the pond for the night. Oh, the tweeting and chirping! It was like a mini bird concert. I was charmed.

Who Says Neigh and Deserves Some Hay?

I know, I know! My horses! And after a lot of effort on many people’s part, they have some round bales to enjoy when the cold weather comes.

The horses seem pleased. They should be.

I had just washed my hair when I went out to figure out where to put the hay. I now wish I had a wind like today’s to style my hair with every wash! It made my hair look great!

By the way, I may deserve a treat or pampering like the horses get, too. It’s the dreaded cocklebur season. I’ve probably mentioned this multiple times already this autumn. The horses seem to think the grass under the bur plants is the BEST, because each of them has a fine collection of burs in their manes, with bonus tail burs…or had.

I took an extra half hour getting Drew and Apache ready for their lessons today. Some of it involved getting mud out of their hooves, but most of it was bur removal. Drew, whose new hairstyle is shown above, had about 15 burs in his made and a bunch in his tail. His hair is smooth, which makes it easy to get burs out. When I was done, I did the braiding you see. I hope it makes for fewer burs and easier removal. Plus, it’s cute.

Yes, eventually Apache got braided, too. First at least 38 burs had to be removed. He has fine, frizzy hair in his mane, so the burs stick way more and are much harder to remove. My poor hands! (I’m careful not to use my nails.) I ended up making his forelock into some kind of horse-man bun. That should help. The rest of his braid is longer than Drew’s, but at least it won’t fall forward and may get fewer burs. We will see. Too bad I never was a girly-girl or had a pony and learned to do fancy braids. But Tarrin said the style I did might work.

He also has lots of wisps and at one point his braid flew up like a kite.

But I can’t be annoyed at the guys. I’m still kind of shocked at how well Apache’s been doing in lessons. It’s so very fun to get more skilled at riding as he gets better at his form. We did slaloms today and ran out of things to criticize. And we did three barrels correctly, at a trot.

These are things I never expected. Heck, even his side passing is borderline okay! Quite an improvement! Obviously he isn’t built to be a high-level dressage horse and he started out way late, but as long as he’s healthy and interested, we’ll keep working on things.

Drew and I are both improving, too. Bridling is coming along, and I’m getting the hang of helping him get straighter on slaloms and barrels. He’s where Apache was last year. But I think he can do great things if we keep working away. He deserves hay, too.

And I deserve hay. Duh. Even though I bray rather than saying neigh.

Lots of us deserve a reward right now. I’ve solved some problems and helped people at work, for which I’m proud. Lee’s buying us a house to renovate! Go him! And others in my circle are being amazing caregivers. Teamwork!

Lessons Learned, Respect Earned

Today was full of ups and downs. I’m dealing with internal drama that has nothing to do with anyone else, but it’s making me impatient and snappy. I’m not at my best.

But guess who doesn’t care about any of that, as long as I leave it all back in the house? The horses. I just read a blog post by my trainer, Tarrin, who reminded us to only bring joy to our horses, not our baggage. That’s such good advice! And I did that today, because the moment I set eyes on my little herd, my stress fell away and was replaced with warmth and happiness.

It’s a pleasure to check in with each horse and Fiona the donkey, seeing how they’re feeling after a recent escapade with locking themselves in a small pen, noticing how calm and loving Mabel has become since starting supplements for ulcers, how irritated Drew is with his hurt head from the pen episode, and how happy Apache was to get loved on and de-burred.

It was Apache’s turn to be ridden today, and we are doing an exercise about going to the edges of his boundaries. It was going fine until I headed him in his “bad” direction just as Lee sped by in Hilda the utility vehicle. He threw his head down to shake the reins out of my hands and started to take off. But, hooray, I was prepared and did the correct version of a one-rein stop and he did, indeed, stop.

I swear I could hear Apache thinking, “Dang, that trick doesn’t work anymore.” He was a fine fellow the rest of the ride, including trotting around the outside of the round pen. Much petting and praise ensued. I’d gained his respect a bit more.

That’s the power of learning lessons from those who have more experience than you do. I’m lucky to have mentors and teachers in my life like Tarrin to impart these lessons in ways I can best hear them and use them.

Thank whoever’s helped you get through your challenges and empowers you to keep going. These are people to treasure! Thanks, Tarrin.

And thanks to Carlton for being goofy in his zest for unearthing hidden tissues. Hard to be sad watching that.

When Things Take a Turn for the Better

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

…you answer a blog prompt? Ha, no. I just thought the question was so easy! I wind down by blogging and knitting. Writing and handcrafts both involve repetitive motion and take your mind off other things.

I’m happy to report that today only started out demanding, however. I dragged all my computers out to the Red House (our vacation rental) because it now has wifi. I was able to actually get a lot done, though, plus I was able to finish the laundry and sweep the porch.

However, I still hadn’t heard from AT&T about replacing my router. So I called the special line for my equipment. I talked to some woman who tried to sell me equipment insurance and somehow I got rid of her and was able to talk to a reasonable person. The news was bad. They no longer make my equipment.

I was ready to throw a brick through the phone.

Folks, I was truly annoyed. I was extra frustrated. I have wasted a week trying to get something replaced that couldn’t be. Why didn’t someone say that last week? Grr.

I was so patient. I just took a deep breath and ordered a wifi hotspot to use until we figure something else out. I think we will do another service. Stay tuned.

The day got way better after I finally made a plan and could get off the dang phone with the AT&T people. I ran home to get the horses ready for a lesson, and somehow got them ready (-ish — Drew still had globs of mud in his mane but I got the majority off his body).

Lo and behold, Apache wasn’t sick and Drew was in great form! All of us had a really good time. Apache is learning to speed up and slow down correctly and stay straight. I’m so proud of him and so glad he is no longer all inflamed. I succeeded in helping him!

Drew was a relief to ride. He has gotten over whatever was up at the last couple of lessons. Tarrin wonders if maybe he wasn’t feeling well when he was acting so funny. Today was fun. I felt like we were working together.

Here I come! Note my lips. That’s me concentrating.

It was beautiful watching Tarrin ride him after I was done. He cantered so well and easily. I love watching him move. He looks fancy!