inner peace – The Hermits' Rest

Not So Negative Traveler

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

I’ll tell you what I do with negative feelings! I squash them down and distract myself with plants! Who can feel bad when they’ve just seen their first mayapple?

The most beautiful plant! The flowers hide under a giant leaf umbrella!

One common criticism of Past Suna was that she was sooo negative. That stung, but it led me to get to work on figuring out how to reframe how I interpreted the world around me. That, in turn, has led me to express myself less negatively. It was a lot of effort at first, but I think I’m a lot less negative, in general.

Sure, it rained this morning, which made getting ready to travel difficult, but it was beautiful afterwards, and we needed the rain.

I’ve noticed that lately, when things happen that once would have made me upset, I notice that whatever it was happened, feel angry, annoyed, or sad, but then let it go. How did I finally learn to stop dwelling on things and wallowing excessively? I DO NOT KNOW. My best guess is that all the effort I’ve put into mindfulness, seeing the good in situations, and turning away negative thoughts became second nature after a lot of repetition. Dang, I wish I could have gotten there sooner, but that’s my path!

Here’s an example. Today we were looking forward to picking up Hermee the Jeep and towing him to the Cooper Lake South Sulphur Unit State Park (quite a mouthful) behind Seneca the motorhome. Do you see a Jeep in this picture?

Yep, the towing equipment wouldn’t be done until 4 pm, way too late for us to drive 4 hours and arrive in daylight. It turned out the scheduled technician had a death in the family. Well, I was irritated for one minute, then just made sure we have enough food, and looked forward to the weekend anyway. That guy’s family is more important than having two vehicles. We will get Hermee on our way back.

It’s harder to be negative, too, when you’re looking at life from a wider perspective. Hanging around with nature so much, and working to understand horses and dogs has helped drive home the perspective I need. I remember the world does not revolve around me, I’m part of a bigger universe, and pouting or weeping won’t stop the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. It’s so much better (at least for me) to just sit back and watch the show, tending to matters that are within my ability to control (my own actions).

The fewer expectations I have of those around me, the more at peace I become. And this lets me truly enjoy the goodness and kindness that pours in from the family and friends who care. And they’re the ones that count and bring joy, even in hard times.

Um, anyway, yeah, we have driven to the park we accidentally drove to a few months ago. It’s more wintry in north Texas than at home, but I think I’ll have lots of fun walking around this weekend. The weather should be pleasant.

With no Jeep to get me to trailheads, I’ll get some good walking in. And if it rains, I have loads of knitting and writing to do. It’s all good. It’s weirdly stress free other than concerns for some family health issues. I can’t fix it by worrying, though, so I’ll keep sending out good intentions and doing whatever concrete things I can to be helpful.

And, here are some plants and vultures.

How do you deal with negative feelings? Is it easier or harder as you age?

Where Do You Find Sanctuary?

Ah, the word for today is sanctuary on the UU Lent calendar. As I am sitting inside one of my personal sanctuaries as I type this, I didn’t have a hard time coming up with things to photograph for this concept.

My office at the ranch, with my favorite chair ever, my favorite couch, art I love, a stool my dad made, and much safety.

What I realized soon after starting to think about sanctuaries is that I truly crave them. I make myself a sanctuary wherever I go. In Austin, it’s my bedroom, where again, I have things I care about and a cozy place to sit and read or knit. I’ve turned my office at the Hermit Haus into a sanctuary with all my colors and all my nature stuff. Even in the horrible “open office” thing at work in Austin, I’ve tried to create a place of calm.

This is when it was in use as a church. They took that nice lighted thing in the back.

Heck, I even OWN a sanctuary, but not in the same meaning of the word. The old church sanctuary still gives me a bit of a chill, so it won’t be a haven for peace and reflection for me for a while yet.

I feel like a wealthy person when I realize how many places I can retreat to when I need to. I need to retreat a lot, which is how I keep as even-tempered as I manage to do (though Chris said I had a negativity attack yesterday).

To help with office negativity, I went and made myself a sanctuary at the Pope Residence. I drug a chair and a bench out on the balcony, where I can look at the big magnolia tree and survey the churches of Cameron. I spent a nice time listening to the many grackles, four woodpeckers, and a loud mockingbird. Triumph in the sanctuary department!

Of course, Lee and I built our very own sanctuary here at the ranch. The Hermits’ Rest is most definitely his safe place, and I’m not far behind (I just have more places). My Instagram post for today shows me enjoying coffee in the only side of the house not dealing with hurricane-style winds.

I had pretty much everything I needed here!

It’s a real privilege to have your own physical areas of sanctuary like I do. I think of people in Syria, people in abusive situations in the US, so many others in crisis who don’t have anywhere to go where they feel safe. No wonder so many people just retreat inside themselves; they have nowhere else to go.

I feel safe here. So grateful for the Hermits’ Rest.

Everyone deserves to be able to escape and refresh and renew their souls. Those of us who have the chance to should cultivate and care for our sanctuaries, because we are lucky to have them. One way to do good in the world is to help bring peace and safety to others.

How would you do this? Where is your sanctuary? Is it physical or mental?

Why MUST I Blind People with My Brightness?

Today I’m a vision in yellow and pink, with sparkly shoes, a shiny necklace and earrings and my crazy sunglasses. At least I washed my hair, so it’s not mega-coral/pink.

Since I hit the big 6-0 with a splat in 2018, I’ve gotten brighter and shinier. My hair has been flaming red, orange, pink, and all colors in between. I have quite a collection of sparkly shoes. I have shiny nails, shiny jewelry, bling-y tops, and some pretty interesting glasses. In some photos, I stick out like a heavily bruised sore thumb.

The response, at least to my face, has been surprisingly positive. Random people at work tell me I always cheer them up, or that I’m their outfit coordination role model. I get shouts of, “Love Your Hair” from people I’d never have suspected would love my hair, based on their appearance.

Why, Suna, Why?

I have always enjoyed choosing clothing and putting together outfits, which conflicts mightily with my urge to wear a t-shirt and jeans every day (I just coordinate accessories, I guess). I’ve found that looking at my happy clothing cheers me up when I’m in long meetings, dwelling on how ill all my friends seem to be, or listening to the news.

No doubt my love of fire, hearth and home and my attraction to the Celtic goddes/saint Brigid has something to do with my love of shiny.

If I look deep in my heart, I’m sure a part of it is enjoying the positive attention, because, let’s face it, short, chubby, mousy women with graying hair and a tendency toward sarcasm tend to not get a lot of it. But, I’m inevitably surprised by attention, because really, the brightness is to help ME keep positive, look on the bright side of life, and share my internal peace and joy with the outside world.

My Austin home is also really colorful, and it makes me happy to be there. My book club members and friends who see my photos often comment on how the bright colors reflect me and Anita and make the Bobcat Lair house feel so homey. All the color in the ranch house is in my office, but I make up for it at my office. I like to be around things that are bright. They remind me of how much inner light I feel shining within.

Really. The last two years I have felt so much more at peace with myself, at home in my body, and secure in my place in life, that I just want to show it. Sure, I get upset occasionally by world events or situations beyond my control, but I’m doing a lot better at focusing on things I CAN control, surrounding myself with people who DO care about me, and letting other things sort themselves out. Not trying to save the world, help others fix themselves (unless requested), or sending all my energy OUT has helped me find a lot of inner peace.

It shines through.

What Helps You Shine?

You don’t have to dress like Elton John on a worldwide tour to project a blinding shininess to the world. Just taking the time to notice what makes you happy, and perhaps sharing it with the world is a good start.

For example, today I woke up to more sparkles in the world, as the sun shone on heavily dewed fields. As I was driving out of my driveway, my breath was taken away by the color of the bare river willow trees along the arroyo. Everything looked shining and orange (like one of my outfits, ha). I didn’t get a picture of it, but I found this one that really evokes how I felt:

Peace among the orange willows, by *@loreke76 via Twenty20*.

Share how you shine, how you would like to shine, and what makes you happy. Give me a comment here or on Facebook, share on Twitter, Instagram, or email. Just walk around and be your shiny self. THAT is something we can all do to make the world better, inside and out.