improvement – Page 2 – The Hermits' Rest

Smiling So Hard and Learning So Much

The amount of gratitude I have for everyone who’s encouraged me in my horse-loving journey is boundless. That includes my family, Sara (who gave me Apache), the Parelli instructor I learned from early on, our late friend Christi…and of course, Tarrin, who you probably hear too much about. But hey, it’s my blog, and I can talk about anyone I want to (with certain exceptions). And what’s wrong with telling the world a professional is good at their job?

Drew is plotting to have a meltdown at her in this photo (just kidding, horses do not have brains that plot)

My point here is that I’m just so happy to have reached the point in my journey where hard work has paid off and fun is creeping into our lessons more and more. That’s taken a village!

Village member Lee doesn’t mind driving to lessons because he gets to drive Seneca, the motorhome. It looks a bit fancy but darn it, at least we’re using it!

Today I just smiled and smiled during my lessons with Drew and Apache. Sure, my side passing still needs work, but Apache’s doing way better at it. And we had great fun trotting around and improving our form and speed controls. I can’t believe I’m so much better. I like going fast and don’t feel out of control. Neither does Apache. Teamwork!

I think Apache never heard the words “good boy” so many times in his life. He really tries. And he pays attention to me. Meanwhile, I’m learning to ride one handed and it’s really working great. Why knew? And my posture! It’s practically good! Wow. No wonder I smoked.

Plus! Get this! We went all the way to the trailer, past a piece of loyd heavy equipment, and down to the exit gate and back. With ZERO spooks or panics. It was completely calm. Drew, on the other hand, had a big spook when Apache walked by. Too bad Tarrin stopped filming.

Apache is an amazing steed.

Drew’s lesson was more challenging but I learned a lot. He is better but decided it was a good idea to refuse to canter going right. Then he started crowding Tarrin and acting up. Much fit pitching occurred. I learned a lot from how Tarrin calmed him down. He ended up doing exercises for his sore leg like a champ.

It made me really hot and I was dubious about my bath. I ended up liking it.

After he calmed down and did his exercises, I got to ride him around a bit. We did just fine in an unfamiliar place with interesting distractions. And he’d walked right to the trailer so I didn’t have to carry his saddle.

In the end I was proud of Droodles, too. I had to smile as I sat in the shade (so I wouldn’t barf) and watched Tarrin get him in a better frame of mind. I’m going to learn a lot from meltdowns!

By the way, Apache has lost weight and looks like a normal horse, almost.

I probably have more to say but I took something for back pain ( hurt before riding) and I’ve grown woozy. So good night!

Maybe I Had a Goal

To preface this, I note that I’ve always hated having to think about goals. You know, like these. What’s your goal for this month? For this year? Give me five SMART goals for your next year so we can grade you on it! What’s your financial planning goal? Worse are planners where you have to have goals for the day, the week, the month. Ugh. Not for me.

I just want to look at plants and ride horses. And knit.

I honestly don’t like to spend so much time living in the future and trying to get to something that may not matter by the time you get there. Hmm, reminds me of my goal to be a linguistics professor. Turns out I didn’t want to be one.

I did learn a lot in school, but I learn from plants, too.

Okay, so, I prefer to live in the present as much as possible and do what seems right at the time. But of course I need to plan things. And I have intentions, like going out in the RV at least once a month. But that’s not a goal. I won’t feel like I failed if we skip a month.

Still, I think there are goals hiding here and there that I don’t admit to myself. Today I achieved one and it felt good!

I’m finally to the stage of riding horses where it’s fun!

I think my goal when I started training with Tarrin was to be able to ride well enough to not have to concentrate on every tiny thing I was doing and not to worry that something bad was going to happen. With Apache, something scary was always happening. We weren’t partners at all.

Today, though, in our very hot and humid lesson, I suddenly realized I was enjoying myself and working on refining my skills, not fumbling around trying to remember to use this leg or that one, look with my belly button and not rely on my reins so much.

I even started laughing when I realized that Drew’s challenging issues turning left were fun to address, not scary.

And when Tarrin showed me how to properly ride with one rein, I enjoyed trying to get better at it. Woo hoo! Tarrin said it’s like something just clicked, and I moved to a new level. I think she’s right. My seat improved, my balance is good, my legs do stuff when they should, I make corrections at appropriate times…all stuff I struggled with recently.

I did better with Apache, but we were too busy for photos then. But look! One hand!

I made my goal! I even like trotting. It turns out that I’m better at it AND Apache is trotting better, too. Together we have supported each other as we each improve. That’s partnership growing. No wonder we have fun together now, even if we get all sweaty. He’s figuring stuff out, too (like cantering, which gets better every week).

He’s in the best shape of his life, which helps him improve.

And riding Drew is no longer something I dread. We are getting used to each other, too. I’m happier and happier with his progress toward being consistent and compliant.

I’m proud of myself for focusing on how straight I’m sitting in the saddle and how good my hands look rather than my unflattering outfit. That shirt sure kept me cool! Better acceptance of my 65-year-old shape is another hidden goal.

Today he was having a little left side issue, but Tarrin helped him work through it. I love that she listens to horses and helps them out so that they can then easily do what she asks.

I’ll allow myself horse goals, but I’m not putting a “do it by” date on them. I want to ride Drew in a show. And I want to canter on Apache. It will take as long as it takes. And I’ll have FUN getting there.

Stay safe. If you live near me, stay hydrated. Stay indoors if you have breathing problems, because there’s smoke from Mexican sugar cane harvesting out there. Such weird weather everywhere!

(If this makes no sense, it’s because I’m really tired.)

Pride, the Good Kind

I’m feeling a lot of pride, but not the kind that “goeth before a fall.” My heart is swelling with pride for two reasons.

First, I talked yesterday about how my next-door horse and rider friends, Sara and Aragorn, had a hard time with the dressage portion of their show yesterday. The only pair they beat were the ones that got disqualified (not to worry, the rider did amazing on her other horse). I was so impressed with how Sara handled Aragorn’s disinclination to canter. Her plan was to see how he felt today, and try again.

And wow! They put the past behind them and seized the day today in the ease of handling and speed phases. They WON both. That made them overall champions in their class. I sure wish I could have seen them! I’m extremely proud of how well Sara came back. I knew Aragorn could do amazing things, because he had done so last week. I’m so glad his feet felt better and he did his best for his partner. I’m just thrilled.

I’m more thrilled than I look in this picture.

Who else am I proud of? My chubby, spotty, old buddy Apache. Like Aragorn did for Sara, Apache did his very best for me today as we filmed our Spring virtual show. Bear in mind that Apache is not as far along in his journey as Aragorn, so his very best isn’t glorious perfection; it’s improvement. And my equine partner did the best he could. There were lots of challenges, like gates, carrying flags, and doing complicated turns holding said flag. Oh, and doing three turns around barrels with me holding a giant pole. Heck, he almost sidepassed competently. Almost.

While not doing the show, he actually played in a puddle. Then he did a perfect jump! With me on him! Tarrin heard it, so I have verification. I’m very proud of his effort.

Now, by the time I got to Tarrin’s I was a bit flustered. We were quite late thanks to flat tires, running out of gas, and Lee not feeling great. And it’s getting HOT. But, I coped. I am damn sure I could have done better with practice, but for someone not used to using one rein I did okay. We managed to go through a gate going both ways, too. It wasn’t great form, but we didn’t knock anything over!

And I didn’t pass out, because I was hydrated.

I’ll admit to being proud of myself on the Functionality test. I did way better remembering it and actually enjoyed it. I’m improving, too. I smiled!

Truly, though, Apache was so relaxed and willing to try whatever I asked him that I had to be proud. I think we trust each other a lot more. We’re getting there! The money I’ve invested in training for myself and the horses is paying huge dividends.

Working with horses makes me much calmer, like now when I’m in Austin waiting for a root canal tomorrow.

Apache and Suna Try Again

As I mentioned yesterday, there was a horse show for our Working Horse Central. It was the Summer Sizzler and lived up to its name. A bit humid and hot for some of us delicate flowers, but really not all that bad.

It was a great show with many participants, including a good number of youngsters. They really did great, even when their horses weren’t cooperating. And one young woman was kind enough to lead and help out most of them. This really impressed me. That girl will be a good trainer in the future.

Here she is doing lead line on an extra cute pony. Way better than Drew and I ever did!

Apache and I did the best we’ve ever done, according to Sara. I was annoyed that I messed up the pattern in Functionality. I know we could have done better, but we each did our best. Apache did better on the Trail part, though I messed up the flag carry and he knocked over some blocks and really didn’t like the gate. Oh well. We did great trotting! Not great form or aids, but we improved.

We don’t have any pictures of me and Apache yet, because no one other than Tarrin’s son took any (Sara was helping me during the last two parts). But I took some of her. And I’m glad I did, because she and Aragorn did their best performance ever.

After their first event, I had goosebumps. It was so beautiful. She and Aragorn even got blue ribbons for this performance, over our much more experienced friend. We are all thrilled for her! Of course, our friend also did well and it was great to watch her and her horse, too. And her show outfit, which is all Spanish.

Look at his bridle decoration flying around.

The whole time was impressive. All the horses and riders have made great progress. I was so happy to see this. Tarrin told everyone this, too. It helped me see that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself!

Ribbon time. That’s our dear body worker, Jackie, with me and Tarrin.

There ended up only being two entries in our class, because another friend wasn’t feeling well and the heat would not have helped a bit. So, we’re number two this time! I don’t mind at all, because Jackie and Jambo did great. It’s so fun to watch them together.

It was a fun day other than the heat making me a bit emotional for no good reason. I’m so glad we have our community of Tarrin’s students to support each other and grow together! I feel very lucky for myself and my horses.

And we have fun. A couple of folks posted photos of their sleeping passengers on their ways home. So Sara and I shared this. I should not have let the driver fall asleep. Ha ha.

Our poor horses were certainly glad to get home. They looked pretty good, since we’d wet them down nicely before we left. I had so much nice bonding time with Apache, since he got a bit bored and agitated by himself. He was doing everything I asked of him, so it was the least I could do to walk him around and let him nibble some grass. And hey, he didn’t break any more of my toes; he just stomped on his bridle. Good boy.

Back home at Sara’s, with pretty clouds.

Here are a few random photos from the day. I hope some make you smile.

Button weed is one of the few native plants I saw at the beautiful facility.

It’s Okay to Believe It when People Compliment You

Today was a more encouraging day than many in the past few weeks have been. And I’m going to pay myself on the back, because twice today when people told me what a good job I’m doing, I didn’t say, “Aww shucks,” or downplay what I’ve done. I thanked them and agreed.

Hey Suna, you did a good job coordinating me with the trailer and tow vehicle. Thanks, Drew. Do I need new ones for Apache?

I finally was able to fit a horse lesson in today, after the mud dried up a bit. I enjoyed riding both horses a lot. All that time I’ve been spending with them has paid off. Even though Apache once again wasn’t thrilled at jumping, our riding was tons of fun. He’s so willing to do what I ask!

Tarrin said he seemed stiff, so he got a good butt rub. He seemed to enjoy it.

Tarrin did some ground work with him and helped him figure out his uncoordinated canter a bit. In the end she had him flying. I don’t know if he loved that, but he did love the nice hosing off he got as a reward for very hard work. We had a great time learning!

When Tarrin told me she was proud of how far we’ve come, I said thanks and did not try to downplay it. Nope. We HAVE improved. Compliment accepted.

Drew was also a lot of fun to work with today. Even though we each had some things to work harder on, the improvement in how we work together is sorta surprising. He’s getting to where I’m able to ride him confidently. Tarrin said we are getting close to being able to do shows. At first I doubted it, but then I could see what she meant. I accepted that praise.

When he and I were finished working on circles and trotting straight, Drew got to listen to Tarrin remind him of what he should be doing. He’s still a teen with opinions!

I’m going to now compliment my horses. For as much time as they’d spent in the mud and rain, they seem calmer and more eager to work than ever. They were great in the trailer, calm while waiting, and all-around good citizens. Hard work pays off. Knowing there will be ups and downs also pays off, though.

On the way home today, Lee repeated to me how impressed he is with what working with the horses has done for my confidence and mental health. I didn’t disagree. He’s right!

This beautiful bluebill flower is in the clematis family. Thus changes the subject.

I didn’t want to write two blogs, so I’ll just stick this good news in here. Today on my walk, I heard “gobble gobble,” so I turned back towards the creek and found Tom here walking around eating bugs.

This was my first chance to really watch the turkey up close. I’m so glad we have them here again! My friends up North who have them everywhere don’t see why I’m so excited, but we didn’t have them here for a long time.

Even better news followed. As I was approaching our driveway, I saw something large walking down the road. It was another turkey! I think it was the hen, but I’m bot sure. I couldn’t get too close since I needed to go back to work.

How about that? You can’t go down our road without killdeer screeching at you, so of course they joined the turkey.

Indeed, it was a good day for accepting praise and enjoying Nature’s surprises.

A Positive Change

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

Since today has been pretty rough, I think I’ll just answer the daily blogging prompt. It is the perfect time to remind myself of the positive changes I’ve made in the past couple of years. The prompt asked for one, but I’ll share a couple. I’m quite proud of how much “personal growth” I’ve engaged in. It’s certainly making my “twilight years” more pleasant.

I made a new friend today, a hackberry emperor butterfly who sat on my arm for a long time. I enjoyed watching its proboscis.

The first positive change I’ve made is the most important. I figured out how to end the constant stream of negative self talk that had accompanied me my entire life. Looking back, I can see that I was always anxious and always felt like I could not please anyone, especially myself.

I’m not “cured” (everyone has down moments or days), but I’m so much better. I face each day in happy anticipation of enjoying beauty, learning new things, and contributing to the good in the world. I’m a better person for that!

I’m grateful to the support of my long-time therapist, my friends, and supportive family members as I stumbled through this process.

I found this particular beautiful thing in a parking lot.

The second thing I’ve done that has positively influenced my life is taking risks. Now, I’m not talking about skydiving or truly risky behaviors, but I’ve tried many new things and lived. Many of the things I’ve done with the horses are things I’d have hesitated to try earlier in my life. Good thing I listen to my encouraging trainer.

And of course, I always have a supportive donkey at my side. She’s usually just that close when I’m in the pasture.

The third thing is a work in progress. I’m way better about it, but I still slip into old patterns here. I am working to stop caring so much about what other people think of me and trying to get people to like me. This has been a long, hard road, but wow am I better now!

It all came to a head when I broke down and started crying and asked my neighbor to like me, because I wanted to remain his friend. He looked at me like I had three heads. Upon reflection I concluded that my life won’t be much different at all without him in my life and that caring about what he says about me would only make my life less serene. I’m just fine now and can just smile and be pleasant without worrying about whether I’m offending or providing gossip fodder.

I am not worried about what the cattle and cattle egrets think about the humans on the other side of the fence.

That’s because I’ve just about given up on caring what people think about me or say about me. I know who I am, and it’s not my job to explain myself to people who don’t care to take the time to get to know me or my perspective. I’m going to try to be kind and open to others’ perspectives, but not spend my time trying to present my ideas unless requested.

Goldie has the right idea: just enjoy the moment.

That’s so freeing! I have so many more opportunities to find peace and joy now that I let myself be whoever I am and like that person.

Such hard work. And still lots more to work on. But positive change is worth it.

A Horsey Roller Coaster

I’m always being warned by people wiser than me that I should expect ups and downs with Drew and Apache. Monday was a big down for Apache, with his difficulty settling down.

And I’d been concerned that I’d messed up with little Droodles, too. But today was extra encouraging. He came up and asked to go out. He was rewarded by a chance to do more “mowing” and enjoy the removal of excess hair. He’s looking good.

I wish I had a picture of him standing there watching me and Apache when I groomed him. He is really looking like a healthy horse.

As for Apache, he was back to his new normal today. He jumped great going left and medium going right. And he cantered up a storm in the round pen, looking happy.

These flowers made me happy. The dewberries smell great.

Our ride was just great, too. We did a bunch of the things in the Trail test just fine. I was so pleased. Lee said all he heard while working on the RV was “good boy, Patchy!” I did say it a lot. I am not so concerned about the show this weekend. We will get lots done tomorrow and Friday, and he will have fun.

I had fun breathing on Suna, gluing myself to her, and trying to eat the eggs. She wouldn’t let me.

And in honor of International Woman’s Day, here’s our girl Mabel, leaving her leftovers to her buddy Apache.

Mabel Is a Real Horse

After a year and a half, our Mabel has crawled out of her shell, gotten into shape, and started to act like a real horse, not a sick, frightened shadow. I’m so happy for her to have possibilities of a healthy, productive life. Wow. I’m having trouble expressing how much today meant to me.

She’s been through injuries, illnesses, and emergencies since Kathleen rescued her and I started helping out. She was so thin and sad. She’s not fat now, but she has muscles and is interested in life around her. And here’s the thrill: she let Jackie do bodywork on her!

Jackie was so gentle with Mabel that she completely win her over. With every move, Jackie asked Mabel’s permission and she kept saying yes. Her neck got stretched, her back got worked on, and even her legs and feet were rubbed and lifted. Mabel was gracious and calm. Just wow.

Mabel is learning that humans can make her feel good. She already knew her farrier makes her feet feel better, and now she knows Jackie makes her body feel good. This way, if she needs more intense stuff later, she can trust that good stuff will follow. I’m grateful that Mabel is getting treated so well!

After the session was over, Mabel even stayed with us a while. She felt safe! I can see potential in Mabel now. Even her back is looking stronger, like she can be ridden again at some point. It’s been worth the time and money to see her improvement.

Yes, Drew and Apache got worked on, too, and both are improving. Drew needs to stretch his legs frontward and Apache needs to stretch backwards. Huh. Drew got lots of deep work done and found it very relaxing.

Apache was more alert, because he was watching bulls and trucks, but he seemed happy. He is really improving in his conformation. I’m proud of the old guy!

I can stand straight. I just don’t want to!

He is a delight to me, just knowing how hard we’ve both worked and how far we’ve come. I’m happy to keep getting him worked on to continue the progress his whole team of helpers have enabled him to make!

I wish I was as good to my own body as I am to the horses. I could use some bodywork! But I do have eye doctor and dentist appointments in March. And maybe the cough will go away someday.

Pride and Practicality

I have to say my horses make me proud. Today was another lesson day for both of them, and you could really see progress, even since last week. Drew. Damn. He just loves to learn new things, so it’s easy to sneak new knowledge.

The goal today was to work on turning right without crowding. He thought it was working on stopping and starting, then going in and out of cones without me following. I walked in a straight line and he had to weave. He didn’t get it at first with Tarrin but got great at it with me. Proud!

He also is now jumping higher jumps, which is really going to help his muscles. And today he did it calmly, so he didn’t have to re-do anything. He was cool as a cucumber. In fact he drifted off a couple of times when we were talking. Maybe he will learn to turn more straight and I’ll learn to turn correctly, too. We’re getting instructions!

I’m also proud of these ribbons from the virtual show we did in May. It’s the first time he ever had competition. And I was very proud of both Drew and Sully. They were very close in their scores. This was a great show for Sully’s first one! Sara has done such a great job training her. I’m proud of her, too!

As for Apache, he was moody at first, but he got really excited and seemed genuinely happy when he managed to jump over the high jump twice, in each direction. I think he surprised himself!

And that boy worked his butt off today. His goal was getting under his haunches and stopping properly. He has really been reluctant to stop when he’s anxious. Well he practiced stopping a LOT. He did many of the things Drew was doing, but including lots of stopping. To his credit, he got the idea!

By the time we were doing the “approach the scary trailer” ordeal, he was paying attention and stopping on a dime. Screech! That’s real progress. The whole trailer approach is improving. It’s not there yet, but Tarrin says he’s starting to trust that I’ll keep him safe.

I’m also doing better with my ability to be calm and deal with his stuff. I’m proud of our progress, but feel bad for how wound up he gets. I did give him a nice bath, and I can assure you he had a nice roll later.

Practicality

I thought you might get a chuckle out of how I decided to organize all those Color Street nail polishes I have. I found that one of my shoe boxes fit them perfectly.

I felt like decorating it, so I found my 2020 calendar of donkeys and used it to cover the shoe box. It’s certainly cheerful.

The donkeys make me smile, and now it’s wY easier to see what polish sets I have. I also sealed the used ones in hopes that I can use them later by warming them up.

And there ya go. Something random and not depressing! And because I want to reward those of you who read to the end, let’s enjoy the dogs on a pleasant evening.

Patience Pays Off, with Help

Today Apache and I had our first lesson in a while, since Tarrin is recovering from some surgery that will improve her quality of life, if she survives her convalescent period. That’s hard for an active person! I just brought Apache, since Drew is doing well.

This was one educational lesson! Tarrin did great scooting around on a 4-wheeler and Apache did amazing for the first half of the lesson. He jumped the right way at least twice. We were proud of him! This is going to build good muscles! He and I both did well doing some circle things that we can easily practice at home. I’m getting more balanced, and that feels great.

Hey, Dusty, did you get enough food? No, Apache, we’re not special.

However, as soon as he got tired, Apache started to act up. We got some great practice with not putting up with that…stuff. I’m improving. We practiced me getting off, having him run in circles on the ground, then me getting back on. That way he doesn’t get to think he can get me off him so easily.

It was much better than last time, and I was more assertive. Plus, once he calmed down he went right up to the trailer, ate one treat, walked around, went back, and got another treat three times! No drama! And like Tarrin said, I had to do it myself, because she couldn’t jump on Apache and discipline him. Go team.

I’m getting the hang of it, slowly but surely, and Apache is really getting to be more of a partner. We’re enjoying each other and not just thinking any time we get together is only for work.

Not sure I love YOU, yet another water snake.

Back on the upswing, at least horse-wise.