Well, I had to tell our beautiful Easter Egger hen, Betsy, that I was sorry I’d been putting her down for so long. I was telling everyone what a useless hen she was, because she hadn’t laid an egg yet, and I’d had her a long time. I mean, even little Billie Idyl was finally laying.
How dare you doubt me? And look, I have pale ears, which means pale eggs!
But today when I went to look for eggs, she was in the box, sitting like she was going to lay! And she kept making those noises hens make when they’re working on an egg. I was all excited that finally I’d get a beautiful green egg. Nearly all of these hybrid chickens lay eggs of some interesting color or another.
I also have a fluffy butt.
An hour or two later, I checked back in and found a gorgeous blue egg…which I knew was from Blanca, the Whiting True Blue hen. And there beside it, was this little darling.
It’s darker than ivory, but lighter than tan.
That is a light brown egg. In fact, I’d gotten a light brown egg every day for the past three days, thinking it was one of Billie Idyll’s that was just a little darker than usual. Betsy HAD finally started to produce, along with the rest of the newer chickens, who think it’s now spring.
The new ones are on the right.
I’m sorry, Betsy. Now all four of last year’s hens have laid eggs, and good ole Star is also laying. They are going to be all surprised when it gets cold this weekend. But I’m happy to be getting enough eggs again that I can share them with Lee’s brother, who loves eggs almost as much as I do.
In other news, we still have interesting bugs, not only a wheel bug (I love those), but also one of these guys, a painted hickory borer (or a mesquite borer, but it matches the hickory one better on iNaturalist).
Wheel bugPainted hickory borer
And in just a bit of horse news, Sara and I are feeling good about our horses. She and Aragorn came over today, and he was so calm and centered! He has made a lot of progress in his ability to come here to visit. He even trotted calmly and collected. What a guy. And Apache did extremely well today in the round pen. Sara was impressed and just smiled so much at me. I felt good. He’s still not good outside the pen, but he was doing his stopping and backing so well. I just wanted to acknowledge that improvement.
No horse photos today, but here’s where I wish I could ride.
Our animals are such a source of joy, and we really need it right now. Everyone seems to be getting sick, no matter how hard they try to stay safe. Traveling friends are faring the worst, and it makes me so concerned. The flu is also going around here now. Great. But all my family and friends who are struggling are finding support from their communities. I’ve had some good reminders of that lately and am very grateful.
I’m anxiety prone, not someone who gets depressed often. But, I’ve been pretty down, what they’d call situational depression. I’m just riding it out and seeing what I can learn. I appreciate that suggestion from a friend!
Even the spa is trying to cheer me up. It’s green!
Yesterday I got it into my head to ride a bunch of horses and convince myself I don’t totally suck as a rider and leader of horses. I actually had a good time with Apache, and just need a bit more cooperation in staying on the rails at a trot. But it was fine.
Not too bad.
Then I took T over and saddled her up. I’m still not totally confident in my Western saddling, but I got it on.
You want me to do what?
I failed at bridling, however. Nope. She wasn’t gonna do that. So I put reins on her halter and took her in the round pen. She did better in there, calmed down a bit, etc. she did fine for mounting, though that was when I realized I hadn’t tightened the saddle enough. She did a bit of a jump when I asked her to walk, so we just sat there a while and breathed. We then had a reasonable walk, though my foot aids were not enough and she ignored the reins.
Still, I didn’t fall off or get upset, so I told myself it wasn’t all bad. My dismount was rather graceless, to say the least. The saddle fell down and I had trouble getting it off. The sweet girl was patient. Maybe we will do better after her feet are fixed and someone shows me a bridle she likes.
Why? Oh why?
Then I said, fine. I will ride Dusty. Maybe HE will let me walk around and do trails. Well, he did better with tack, but not with riding. He’d go about 20 steps then turn around and trot back to his friends. Repeatedly.
No amount of foot and leg helped. I ended up doing the reins the old way, so I knew it was time to quit. I’ll try again. Maybe I’ll get help from Sara or someone.
I did work today, and that was nice. And I saw a bug. Little things help! I’m hanging in there.
I’ve been putting off writing about this for a day, hoping to get some insight into how my little brain works. One thing I know for sure, or think I know, as Lucy Barton in the books I’m reading would say, is that once I lose my confidence in one thing, I start screwing up other things. That’s how it’s been the last 24 hours or so. I’ve had lots of time to ruminate, however, so maybe I’ll find that I’ve had a good learning experience.
The source of my downward spiral. Who couldn’t love that face, though?
Yesterday was, for the most part, a pretty rough day for me and horses. The challenges just kept building and building all day. First, I went to get Apache ready to go to a training lesson. He just seemed to be in a very uncharacteristic bad mood. He didn’t seem to want me near, and kept coming at me with his teeth. He has only bitten me once, and that’s when I stuck my hand in his mouth quite foolishly. But, he acted like he didn’t want me around. Too bad, we had to do this stuff. Yep.
Mr Grumpy was all manners and goodness later, when he got a slight hoof adjustment.
He was all shifty and stompy when I groomed him. This is a horse who usually stands still and enjoys the grooming experience. He didn’t like being tied, no matter where I took him, either. At least he got into the trailer nicely and was not too hard to tie up, though the teeth came at me again. What the heck?
Once we got to the training place, he was fine, though, and other than truly not being interested in trotting, did well in the round pen. The trainer said she could see improvement in our relationship, which cheered me up some. She got on him to work on straightness and walk-trot transitions. Apache was not thrilled and was really not thrilled when he was asked to do shoulder-in walking, which makes sense, due to his internal issues, which I’d hoped to resolve a bit today, but that’s another part of the story.
Unhappy Apache not being allowed to curl in his neck.
I even got on him and practiced walking, trotting, then backing. I had some trouble at first, but in the end, I had an aha moment, and now that is really a nice thing to do, and we both seemed happy. This was the highlight of the day. The video below is what I was doing. Thanks to Sara for taking it.
I was being good at this!
Sara’s videos and photos really made me sad, though, because I can see what a little, old lump I look like in the saddle. Even when I’m doing well, I look pretty awful. No wonder I have to start over.
There’s a reason her arms are crossed. I look clueless.
Next, we took Apache back to the trailer to hang out while I did a lesson with Drew. This is where I did another thing that messed with my confidence. I tied Apache next to Aragorn with a hay bag between them. I guess my knot that Chris insists I use doesn’t tighten well enough, so Apache was too loose. It enabled him to show what a bad mood he was in by kicking poor Aragorn. We got a call from the trainer’s son saying the paint was kicking the white horse.
More lumpy Suna riding. Good news is his head is down and he looks more relaxed.
I was mortified and afraid the expensive horse had been hurt and I’d never be able to apologize enough. Sara went to move Apache and was upset about my knot, which she didn’t know how to untie it (it just unties itself once you undo the last pull, but I obviously suck at knots). I also feel awful about that.
Yesterday was already not a great day for me emotionally, since I was still pretty shaken up about Ted dying and the five or six other deaths I’d heard about that day (really, SO many people lost their mothers!). The Apache thing got me shaky.
Then, when I was asked to longe Drew over his hill, I just could not do it. Yes, I was unable to guide a horse going in a circle. I completely lost my ability to do this thing that I thought I knew how to do in my sleep. Well, I need to do it differently now, and hold the rope a certain way, move my feet a certain way, never nod my head, put my elbow into my stomach, and keep level with the horse’s rump. I did none of those things correctly.
Drew being longed properly.
I asked Drew to speed up too violently (I did it the way I’d been told to do with Apache) and was told I’d traumatized him. Then I went into a downward spiral of doubting everything I was doing, and being afraid to hold the rope. When Drew got out of control, I was told to draw him in, draw him in, and I blanked on what that meant I was supposed to do. It meant to shorten the rope and bring him closer. Makes sense NOW.
It was a total cluster of insecurity, loss of confidence, and incompetency. I have no idea how I will ever do anything with Drew other than pet him when I get home. He is so sensitive, yet so boisterous. It’s great, and he is wonderful, but I only have experience with a horse that is slow and ignores me. Versatility eludes me. I have lost my positive outlook. Where did it go?
I ended up pretty damned weepy and wondering what the heck happened to my carefully nurtured equanimity I’ve worked so hard on this year. I’m glad my step-mother called so I had to force myself to be cheerful for a few minutes. It’s always good to hear a few stories from Flo.
Of course, the trainer had kind words for me, and pointed out that all training is peaks and valleys rather than a straight incline, and that we all have our bad days, both people and horses. I know she’s gone through her own bouts of feeling incompetent and judged, so I appreciate her insight, even if it will take a while to set in.
I love this photo showing what all the horses are probably doing, at least mentally, while we analyze their behavior endlessly.
I did eventually get able to watch Sara’s lesson and see how she and Aragorn (who didn’t seem too badly injured and was happy to do his lesson) deal with straightness and transition issues, just at a higher level. Those folks who say the problems stay the same no matter what gait you’re working on are right about that.
Aragorn is making lots of progress and you can hardly see where he got kicked.
We decided that Apache will go in for some training next month when I go on my next condo sabbatical. He will get worked and I will get to stare at my favorite beach. It should do us both some good. The trips are truly helping to keep me on an even keel.
Whining Digression
What I suspect is actually bothering me is my regrets about my family and people who were once close to me. They really build up during the winter solstice period. Most of the year I am at peace with the fact that so many people I love and care deeply for do not reciprocate the feelings. This year I am down to ONE person biologically related to me for Christmas, now that my sister also no longer cares for me. Not all of this stuff is my fault. Or their fault. It’s all gray. I just miss them.
And I wondered why I was surrounded by circling vultures all day…
So, I will hug Lee, Anita, Declan, and Rollie on Christmas and thank the Universe for the larger community of caring folks who do surround me, even if I’m grumpy, sarcastic, negative, harbor unpopular opinions, and am just hard to live with. Most people are, to some extent. I’m smiling as I write this, so I’m not feeling too sorry for myself. What would that help, anyway?
Back on Topic
On the horse front, I’d expected to spend most of the day with them again, but Trixie forgot about our bodywork appointment. It’s all for the best, though, because I finished a secret Christmas gift, and Sara also got some work done. That’s the attitude we need. Sure, there are setbacks, but there are good things that can come from them.
Merry Christmas to all of you out there. You are a true gift to me! My gift to you is this pink evening primrose I found blooming in the pasture this afternoon. I took it as a sign of hope.
Today was simply heartwarming. This is why I love horses so much.
We had a good day
Trixie was coming today to work on Apache’s feet, which I’d forgotten to have done on schedule. So, she rushed over during my lunch hour to take care of it.
The Buckskin Buddies watched with great interest.
Trixie started working on Apache and his issues. There was T, watching so closely. She really wanted a turn. So we went over just to look at her beauty. Trixie says she looks very well bred.
Vlassic also wanted attention.
Since she wanted attention, T got her neck adjusted, which made her extra happy. She kept turning her head, licking and chewing, and even yawning. All signs of a happy horse.
I like this lady.
Apache has his feet in their best shape ever, too. His abscess has completely grown out, too. He’s still in attachment mode, too, very affectionate and loving.
One more cute story from today features Fiona. As Trixie was working, she asked if Fiona needed a trim. I said I didn’t think so. Then, I looked over at her. She was on the other side of the gate, also demanding attention. She looked at me and picked up her foot, banging it on the gate, twice.
Yes, she wanted a trim, please. And she showed me the foot that needed trimming most! She’s a genius ass! I hope that made you smile, too.
Being around happy, relaxed animals is the greatest therapy there is for me.
Being loved by people is good for us rescue horses, too.
Today, Sara came with Aragorn in her trailer and picked up me and Apache. I was so grateful to be able to get in a much-needed lesson. We ended up having such a good and educational time, we decided to do it again next week.
Here we are, ready to roll.
We had no trouble at all getting Apache in or out of the trailer. I have memories of it being quite a struggle when he was younger. It helps me see that he HAS improved in many ways.
That’s why I love this quirky guy.
My lesson was first, and went really well. We did the round pen test, and he was judged much improved. He acted like his old self. His feet need to be trimmed, which might cause some odd behavior, so that gets fixed tomorrow.
Here we’re discussing turning.
Next we did really interesting work on walking straight next to the fence without pushing into me or curving his neck. The neck curving is the bad habit he’s developed when he tries to take control.
Here, he’s learning. He got frustrated but stuck with it.
I’m learning so much! Eventually I got to try it and was beginning to figure out his cues and correct him before he tried to get in front of me. This is something I can easily practice that will improve riding.
Thanks to Sara for taking pictures!
Sara and Aragorn worked on straightness and bending necks too, just at a different level. Thus, our lessons were helpful for each other.
Working on bending.
She was also doing practice in transition to canter with correct positions. That was fascinating to watch. And sometimes Aragorn looked all fancy, even if he was trying to figure things out.
Fancy
I think Aragorn got tired. I know Sara did, but they made good progress. He looks much, much calmer, too. We are all getting better, even if I had to go backwards.
Aragorn was really tired of blue barrels.
Sometimes the dogs wanted my attention so much that I got distracted, but that’s just fine. They remind me of our guys. The little corgi-like one, Maximus, reminds me of my corgi, Gwynneth, who ran fast and low like a heat-seeking missile.
Cuties.
So, it was a fine Sunday. I enjoyed football, cooked boudin dirty rice, and patted our animals. Harvey is much less swollen.
It’s 30 degrees cooler today, and even though it made training a bit chilly, it was all good. Everything is a little better.
I wish I had her self-warning vest, says Drew.
Drew is doing so well. And he is so sweet. He has the best Alfalfa breath. I love watching how hard he tries to learn.
The dogs had a lot of cool weather energy.
Back at home, Harvey is improving. He walks better and is less swollen. An he stopped dripping. Whew. It’s a mess here.
I hid a lot of the day.
In the afternoon I took Apache out again, after a real disaster working with him yesterday. Today there was no bucking, snorting, or kicking. He did so well! And he was loving and friendly. Maybe yesterday when I was boss mare impressed him?
A good ending to my day.
It’s not all perfect. It never is. One of the chickens died last night, and I couldn’t figure out why. And while we just got a lot of wind, other parts of the country had dangerous tornados. But, that’s life. Never perfect.
I’m grateful for the good, like this deep winter sunset afterglow. Enjoy.
Today I was supposed to go to a horse event with Sara, but I decided it would be better to do lessons with both my horses. Lee was a good sport and drove me. A trailer I can pull is on my wish list!
Look! I’m on Drew!
Apache was annoying and ran off twice before coming to be haltered, which slowed things down. But I got his sweaty self groomed and made it to training. The idea was to figure out what I need to do to get him focused on me and my agenda.
We first did round pen work, and eventually got him quite attentive. Then I bravely got on and practiced getting him to walk quickly and not trot. (It hurt to trot, but I lived.) I’m going to keep doing those things next week to get him totally focused. It’s back to basics. I’m the mean mare.
No, she’s the mean mare.
Oh my, Apache was not yet done with learning who is boss. The trainer got on him to figure out his issues. And that she did. He did all his backing up, turning, and such, just like with me. He was not interested in going straight, staying on the fence, or anything.
It was fun watching the trainer patiently work with him, gently but firmly, until he figured out it was easier to do what she asked. Spurs helped.
She said the way I’d been taught to do the one-rein stop and make him yield his hindquarters actually gave him power. So I will learn new things and so will he. I’m so glad we did this.
Settle your ass down.
He is not bad hearted or untrainable, so I can keep working with him. That was good news. I was wondering if I was fooling myself investing in training him. No, we just have to go backwards and fix us both. Sigh.
Apache sure was sweaty when we were done.
Things were better with Drew, who is working so hard! He has to do all these exercises with his shoulders or haunches in. It’s really strengthening him, but isn’t easy. He keeps trying.
I back up a lot.
In fact, he is strong enough now that he can canter under saddle without falling down. I was so happy to see it! His back legs are so much stronger and coordinated!
Look at me go!
He’s where I hoped he would get during his initial training. And he is still so sweet.
Canter time
As you could see at the beginning of the post, I did get to ride him. Embarrassing thing was that both my hips cramped when I got on. I’m tired of hurting. I did get to learn his cues, which was fun. I’ll enjoy learning more. I’ll leave you with a movie of Drew practicing getting into the canter.
Go Drew!
So thankful that I have such good guidance on this journey.
There’s always a surprise around here. Today’s surprise was a horse I didn’t know in my pens this morning.
Hello, I’m a large, black mare.
I knew that someone had come back last night after I went to bed, because the dog alarm went off. But I didn’t know who. It turned out to be the nephew and the stock trailer. I recognized Dusty, Remington’s buckskin buddy, but who was the black beauty?
I’m built like a brick house.
I finally figured out it’s Kathleen’s horse from the farm, T, who I’d only seen once before and who did not look quite so fine at that time. It turns out she’s here to get all checked out and such. How about that?
Look, I’m friendlier that Apache and Fiona!
Do you see how shiny she is? Her secret is living for 3 years in a herd of cows and eating grass (and cattle cubes). It works!
She seems happy to be around other horses, and they all seem to be getting along. And she is friendly under all that muscle.
Meanwhile
I didn’t go into detail about my lesson with Drew yesterday, but it was very enlightening to see how hard he is working to learn new habits and build good muscles.
Developing his back legs
He is now going over his little hill under saddle, backwards and forwards, and he is working on using a bit. He doesn’t like them, probably because he had a pretty uncomfortable one before I got him.
And he is developing patience.
We talked about the plan for him, and currently the thinking is to bring him back home at the new year to do ground work and grow to a more adult size. Then in some number of months he can get back for finishing. I’d still be bringing him in for lessons.
Canter practice
I got a lot out of watching Sara’s lesson on Aragorn, who had been feeling agitated for a few days after being spooked by a horse wearing a blanket. He was trying his best to annoy Sara, but she didn’t let him. We were impressed at how she kept her cool and fixated on getting the job at hand done.
Here I was trying to capture his red mane tips, but it didn’t come through.
We had a darned pleasant afternoon with our horses and our trainer.
Today was also pleasant. I walked Apache all over to build back our relationship. Yesterday he turned and walked away from me, but today he came up, eventually and we had a good walk. Fiona, of course, is the best. What a donkey.
We’re all good.
My bruises on my lower abdomen are swollen and painful. I hope it’s just healing. If it gets worse, I will have it looked at.
I’ll tell you more about this tomorrow, but what’s important is that I got to visit Drew and see how he’s progressing today.
Where have you been, Suna?
He’s getting really muscular and filled out.
No ribs showing!
I went with Sara, so we got to watch each other’s lessons. I was not alone when I was watching.
I watch lessons all day.
The resident bull sat with me, sighing periodically like he thought these horses should be doing better. I also had another friend to entertain me.
Who’s a good dog? Me!
This guy was with us the whole time. Every time we go to training, one of the dogs joins us. This one sure reminds me of Harvey.
We also enjoyed getting to know some very curious new horses at the training center. When we drove in, they ran up like cars were very exciting.
We like people.
I went in to look at them to learn about confirmation. The big buckskin and the two fillies were fascinated by my water bottle. I wish you could see their three noses all sniffing at it. Such curiosity!
Two pretty babies
I’ll share more tomorrow. I spent so much time with horses today that I’m zonked.
Come back soon, Suna!
Plus I’m full from a nice dinner my friend Martha made for us. Sunday family dinners are back!
Last night I posted on Facebook that I hurt all over. I was busy doing other things, so I didn’t have a chance to go into detail, so here’s the story. First, I am absolutely fine, going to live, and not mad at my horse. Just wanted to get that out of the way.
I’m writing from my quiet, but breezy, outdoor office. Thanks to our friend Carol for painting my dining set red!
When I was finished working yesterday, Kathleen suggested that we go ride the horses, because the weather was just perfect and there was still some light left in the day. My alternative was emptying the dishwasher, so you can figure out that I agreed to the horse stuff.
I got Apache all groomed. His feet sure look good! The round pen work went well, and he even got going at a canter briefly. I did notice that he coughed a couple of times. I never heard that before. But I didn’t worry too much about it. We all cough occasionally.
I was trying to tell you something. Like, in this photo, I’m telling you the Vrazels are moving cattle, which concerns me.
We got saddled up and did our schooling exercises. He was a little reluctant, but not in an annoying way. He coughed a couple more times.
Kathleen and Mabel were having their own issues since Mabel was not interested in standing still to be mounted. That’s no fun if you are as short as Kathleen and your horse is as tall as Mabel. Eventually we were all ready to go for a ride in the pasture, or so we thought.
Neither horse seemed at all interested in what we had planned. Mabel kept stopping, and Apache was okay until we got past the gate out of his paddock, at which point he began acting like his old jumpy self. I couldn’t figure out what the issue was. I’d stop him, back him up, and try to go forward, but he was not happy. This is where I made my mistake. I kept asking too many times.
Finally, he took off at a canter, headed back to the pens. I tried to calmly stop him and slow him down. Nope. So, I did the kind of one-rein stop that the trainer showed me, and that did stop him, but at that point he commenced to bucking. After buck number 3 I lost my seat and fell off the saddle. It was a fairly graceful fall, and I landed properly, so that nothing broke.
I did bonk my head, but my brave little helmet did its job, and my head is fine. I’ll be ordering a new helmet shortly.
The brave little helmet, whose nails came undone at the back.
But what got into Apache? Kathleen and I noticed he wasn’t acting too perky after the fall (and after I did, indeed, get back on and do some circles and managing obstacles). He had a runny nose and coughed another couple of times. So, we petted him and told him we loved him. That made him happy, very happy.
Stop here if you do not want to read about a horse’s male parts.
When Apache let down his member, we saw that it was quite crusty. His metabolic issues lead to crustiness, and I usually remove stuff every week or so. Of course, I’d been gone three weeks and hadn’t seen his member since I got back. I took care of that issue, though he sure looked all red.
We got to worrying, because his urethra looked more red than usual, too, and he was dripping drops of pee (I’ll spare you the photos, though I do have photos). After consulting with Sara, we decided he might have a UTI and a respiratory issue, so we ran over to her house to borrow a horse thermometer. I need to get one of those, too.
Ready to do the job.
His temperature was normal for a horse, 100.4. That’s good. And I now can take a horse’s temperature. Thanks, Apache, for the farts during that process. We decided to contact a vet in the morning.
One of the things I’ve learned is that horses rarely are just “bad” or “stubborn” or “spoiled.” If they misbehave, there is usually a reason. After you check to see if you’ve confused them or something, the next thought should be that they are in pain of some sort. That’s why I am not angry at Apache. Sara says that before she realized it was an issue, he had bucked when his penile crust hurt him at a trot. Plus, if I was signaling away with my legs right on his kidney or bladder area, that may also have hurt.
I took some ibuprofen and arnica (I have to say that, or everyone I was ever in La Leche League with would start shouting “arnica” at me), so I was able to make it through a celebratory evening last night. Today I awoke to only find two bruises, including this one on my arm.
The blue part of the bruise is really pretty in person.
The other one is much deeper and more colorful and is where my lower abdomen hit the saddle pommel awfully hard on my way down. It is right next to my cesarean scar, which didn’t help. I’d say that hurts more than my back or neck today. But I’ll live, and I learned, so all is well.
And sigh. No vet is available to make a house call today, and I would not want to take a potentially contagious horse anywhere with other horses. So, I will see how he is on Friday (tomorrow is a US holiday). Besides, we do not have the trailer here. It should be back this weekend, though.
Another thing I need is a horse trailer that our vehicle can pull! If only I had a lot of money all of a sudden…oh wait, that’s the next post.
The Hermits' Rest 