Things I Would Say to a Mouse

Not the mouse I’m addressing.
  • I love you and think you’re cute as heck. Outdoors.
  • Your chances of a long life are much better of living a long life if you avoid our house, which is full of large dogs.
  • Plastic is not good for you.
  • You are very clever how you simply move the baited sticky trap so you can get to the delicious horse food and eat more of its spout.
  • There’s lots to eat in the pasture. You could go there.
  • HA! I have put the delicious horse food in a sealed container where you can’t get to it.
  • Yes, I can see that your larger cousin is also visiting the tack room. Evidence.
  • I have lots more traps. Go outside! run!
  • I truly regret the large gaps in the doors to the tack room that welcome you so well.
  • Your brazen takeover of my henhouse has not gone unnoticed. You sure poop a lot.
  • Note that the food in the henhouse is also in a sealed container. HA!
Horses’ expensive oil is now hiding with the alfalfa. Take that, rodents.