leadership – The Hermits' Rest

Should We Abandon the Leader Ship?

What makes a good leader?

I have thoughts on what makes a good leader. I’m afraid that my thoughts are really about what kind of leader I prefer, not who meets some objective criteria of “success.”

Goldie is a firm but fun leader of her pack.

If I need to be on a team or work group, I like to be led by someone who is more of a mentor and facilitates the folks they lead to do the best they can at their job, sport, or spiritual pursuit. They encourage and support, yet provide helpful criticism. They are also willing to do hard things like take responsibility for what the group does and make decisions like who to cut from the team, etc.

I try to be that kind of leader. I’ve had some success and some painful failures at leading volunteers and paid teams. What hurts me the most is when I try to protect my team from unpleasant stuff, but it doesn’t work out. I still feel bad for the LLLOnline team.

Currently I have no intention to lead anything, ever, again, even in a token role. I have abandoned the leader ship and am now a happy team member who has way too much input sometimes. I’m now secretary for two groups I once held more responsibilities in. I like that.

Anyway, I think good leaders show respect and spend more time helping their team do well than trying to get ahead, win, or take credit.

On the Home Front

The tack room at the ranch is getting a much-needed upgrade. We’ve limped along with tarp covering its ancient shingled roof, but the winds in recent days have shredded the latest tarp and blown off more shingles.

So the men of the house decided to replace the roof in a permanent way, with a lovely metal roof that matches the rest of the ranch buildings.

Of course, the weather has not helped much. Both days it’s been worked on have been bitterly cold, and today the gales were coming from the north again. I really felt for those guys slapping big sheets of metal around in that wind! I’m glad they brought in professional subcontractors to do a lot of the work.

I can’t wait to show you the finished product, but it will have to wait until I’m back home. We dragged the RV out to northeast Texas to camp on a big lake. I haven’t seen it yet, since we arrived late. I’ll talk about that tomorrow!

Well, Sure I’m a Leader

Do you see yourself as a leader?

This was a trick question. As a former La Leche League Leader, I’m a leader forever. Ha ha. Of course, I never discuss breastfeeding unless my input is solicited. I was called an n-word too many times just for offering information that I gave up. (Think the German regime that was defeated in WWII but seems to be coming back.)

But, I do think I’m a leader, because I totally suck at being a follower. I am not good at letting other people make decisions. I’m just full of input, whether asked or not. I’m just not a good follower of orders (which is a problem sometimes, because I have a lot of rules to follow).

I like being an equal team no, a lot. It’s my favorite way to work or do projects. I like getting input, coming to consensus and figuring out each team member’s strengths and weaknesses.

When I’m put in a true leadership position, I prefer a more collaborative style. I’ve really done a lot of great projects this way and feel proud of what I’ve accomplished along with so many great teams. Sigh. My projects at La Leche League and Planview were great times and I met such fascinating people.

I probably prefer leading by example to any official position. I just hope that I do a good job. I do worry about my tendency to be bossy, especially when I’m not comfortable with how things are going. I’m still working on that.

Guess what? It rained over two inches today. It made for scary driving conditions, but didn’t flood or anything, so it’s all good. Between two showers, I went out to see hundreds of flying insects I can’t identify (they didn’t hold still for me). There were dozens of tufted titmice in a honey locust tree grabbing a bug, then going back to eat it. How charming!

Look closely and you’ll see a lot of gray birds.

There were just a LOT of birds out today. The Merlin app even heard a duck in the pond behind the woods. I’m so glad migration has started and I can see and here more types of birds. Here’s what I heard during two listening sessions (plus lark sparrows, which sing beautifully).

Birds Merlin heard. By the way, I’m fairly certain the great crested flycatcher it identifies is a scissor tail.

Here are some I’ve photographed in the last couple of days.

After the fun with birds, Lee and I jumped in my little car and drove to San Antonio, not enjoying the traffic, but enjoying the post-rain skies. We’re going to an anniversary dinner for real estate investor friends of Lee’s.

We are in an Embassy Suites hotel that’s as nice as some of the condos we go to. We have no plans for tomorrow but I think there are things to do where we are (way northwest). Sunday morning we hope to see an old friend of mine. I’m glad we’re able to go, thanks to generous dog and horse sitters.

Leading and Following

Are you a leader or a follower?

That’s the blog prompt for today. It’s a hard one. I’ve been put into the position of leadership over and over. I don’t think I’m all that good at it, though, because I spend a lot of time figuring out how to lead and keep those I’m leading happy.

Drew is also an accidental leader. He keeps getting out, but can’t get back in without my leadership.

You really have to accept that sometimes your leadership may not make everyone happy, though. I know trying to protect people I’m leading has cost me a couple of leadership positions.

I’ve been repeatedly told I’m not a good leader for horses, too. I’m not interested in showing them who’s boss. I’d rather lead by being the cream member who sets direction. I think I’m getting better at leading horses appropriately thanks to Tarrin’s excellent leadership (ha ha, that’s a good segue).

I need firm correction and gentle cues, Suna.

I see leadership as teaching others to lead, like a good horse trainer or supervisor at a job. The best leaders are more like mentors, and I’ve been good at that sometimes (sometimes not).

I like to be the boss, but I hate to be away from my herd.

I find it good to be a follower sometimes, too. Not a blind follower who just does what they’re told because some authority says so, but rather a follower out of trust and respect, both of which must be earned.

Don’t worry, Suna led me away before I ate too much grass. See, leadership.

Yeah, I think that became clear reading my diary from 10-11th grades. I sure didn’t follow the rules or orders of teachers I didn’t respect. But it was quite obvious how I’d do anything for the good ones.

I got distracted going out the front door by this moth that looks like a leaf. It’s a large maple spanworm moth. Of course it is.

Now, if this question was really about whether I’d rather go first or last in an activity, my answer would be different. I prefer being in front, where I can see my options, unless, of course, it’s a nature hike. I’ll end up following far behind on those. There are just so many plants, bugs, and birds to observe, plus rocks!

From the Pit to the Pinnacle

Whew. This has been a weird-ass week. I was really pessimistic about work over the weekend, and Monday I found out some changes were happening, right when I was supposed to be gearing up to contribute to an initiative.

But, I wrote myself that perky pushback post, read some of my other messages to myself, and by gosh, I pushed back. I figured out a way to empower one part of my team, make their work more visible, and engage other folks to share their value.

I only had three half days to do this, and I required help, but it happened. One of my colleagues really stepped up to help, and between the two of us, we went from feeling defeated to feeling renewed. We could have just sat there in Eyore mode and moped, but no, we did something.

I was a little worried about the amount of initiative I took, but after enduring me excitedly outline my plans, my boss was impressed, not upset. I felt supported and validated. All it took was leadershipping, as we call it.

Knowing that I’ve developed the skills to pick myself up and start again validates the hard work I’ve put into becoming the person I’d always hoped I could be. You really do have to slog through the pits if you want to reach the pinnacle of your personal growth goals.

On to the next challenge.

By the way, we stayed at a hotel near Tyler, Texas last night. It’s known for its roses, so I had to take some pictures for the blog readers. The white ones even smelled good.